Page 84 of Golden

“Oh. And I’m assuming he’s gone now?”

“Yeah.”

“Oh, Wes. I say this with love, but you’re such an asshole.”

I grunt in agreement.

“How do you feel about him?” Toby asks. “Honestly. No bullshit.”

Like I’d be able to lie to him. “Honestly? I’ve never felt like this about anyone, and it scares the crap out of me. He’s perfect.”

Toby sucks in a breath. “And you haven’t told him that?”

“I can’t. There’s no way this can end well. This started out with me wanting to keep my distance because I didn’t have time to get involved in something complicated, but now, I don’t want to get involved because it’s going to kill me when it falls apart.”

“Hasn’t it already fallen apart?”

I sigh. “Yeah. And it hurts like hell. Which means I’m right. If I gave us the chance he’s asking for, and it fell apart later down the line, I don’t think I could take it.”

“Wait. He’s said he wants things to be serious?”

“Yeah.”

Toby blows out a long breath that rattles through the line. “You can go through this again with Shawna, but I’m ninety-nine point nine percent sure she’s agree with me on this one. You’re sabotaging your own happiness. You can’t not get with someone on the chance that theymighthurt you. That’s literally everybody.”

I make a noncommittal noise. He’s wrong. Sol is one of the nicest people I’ve ever met, gorgeous inside and out. The chances of him hurting me are way higher than if I risked my heart with someone less . . . perfect.

“This is not over,” Toby says. “Text me about dinner tomorrow.”

“Okay. See you then.”

I hang up and let the phone fall from my hand with a thump. Sol might not realize it now, but he’s had a lucky escape. The world is his for the taking and I’m the worst possible choice. Sol deserves the stars, and all I’d ever do is drag him down.

SOL

The party is mostly contained to the living rooms, so I head straight for the stairs and up to my room on the top floor. I’m a pretty chilled out guy and it takes a lot to rile me up, but right now? I don’t think I’ve ever been so angry in my life.

It was a mistake of epic proportions going to Wes’ place. Gritting my teeth, I fumble for my key and slam the door behind me. The edges of my vision are red as I strip off and step under the shower, not caring that it’s ice cold. I stand under the spray until the water turns scalding hot and don’t move until it’s back to cold again.

Numb, inside and out, I grab my towel and wrench open the door, halting in my tracks as I find Alex and Zak sitting on my bed, their phones in their hands. They both look up, matching expressions of concern on their faces.

“You okay?” Alex asks.

I swallow, stepping into the room and rooting through my drawers for clean underwear and a fresh pair of sweats.

Zak’s sigh fills the room. “You went to see him, didn’t you?”

My jaw clenches but I say nothing as I dress with my back to them. I haven’t told them about last weekend and I’m not sure why. Maybe if I had, they’d have stopped me from going to see him and I wouldn’t feel like someone has their foot on my heart.

“Sol,” Alex tries again. “Please talk to us.”

The sounds from the party are faint up here and I nod toward the door as I straddle my desk chair. “Shouldn’t you go back to the party?”

“Fuck the party,” Zak scoffs. “You’re more important than any party.”

His words cause my chest to tighten. They’re words I need to hear, but not from my best friends.

Pushing my damp hair off my forehead, I draw in a shaky breath. “Wes came home to Portland with me last weekend.”

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