Page 85 of Golden

“What?” Zak asks. “I didn’t realize it was that serious.”

I shake my head. “It wasn’t. But Jacey wanted to meet him, and I wanted to spend time with him, so . . .”

“How’d it go?”

“Great.” I huff a laugh. “My family loved him. We took him to the food trucks, and it was . . . great.”

“Shit,” Zak says, shaking his head. “You fell for him, didn’t you?”

I don’t bother trying to deny it, instead focusing all my attention on a small scar on my thumb.

“What happened?” Alex presses gently. “What did he do? Did he hurt you?”

I want to say no because he hasn’t. Not in the way Alex means. But he has. He’s hurt me deeper than anyone ever has, but I still want him. It’s stupid and I hate it.

“Fuck,” I say, leaning back to look at the ceiling as I try to figure out a way to summarize what’s happened without having to relive it all. “We slept together, and Jacey walked in on us in the morning. I freaked out. He left. It turns out my family are all super supportive but now Wes is calling quits.”

“Bastard,” Zak mutters. “Want us to go pay him a visit?”

I give a halfhearted smile. “Thanks. But no.”

“So, what happened when you went there tonight?” Alex frowns. “Did he refuse to see you?”

“I wish. We talked. We . . . erm . . fucked. And then I told him I wanted a relationship and he stared at the floor until I left. It was so fucking awkward.”

Zak stands and walks over, hauling me to my feet and wrapping me in a hug. “I’m so sorry. That’s messed up.”

The bed creaks as Alex stands, and then his hand squeezes my shoulder. “Maybe he needs time to think about it.”

I step out of Zak’s arms and flop back down onto my chair. “I don’t think so. This was fucked from day one. He was interested and I gave him mixed signals. If I’d just gone for it from the start, maybe we’d be together now.”

“That’s bullshit,” Alex says. “You didn’t even know you liked guys at that point. He expected way too much from you.”

I say nothing because I don’t know if it’s true. Things are so messed up I can’t see a clear answer.

“What do you want?” Zak asks.

I look up at him and as my answer rings loud and clear in my head, I wince at the truth.

“Shit,” Alex says, rubbing his hand over his mouth. “You still want Wes, don’t you?”

My gaze falls to my knees. “I know you think I’m an idiot but—”

“No one thinks you’re an idiot, Sol,” Zak says, gripping my shoulder.

I shake my head. “He’s scared. That’s all it is. If he could get over that and see that I’m serious . . .”

“I’m not gonna lie,” Alex says, his arms folded across his chest. “I want to kill the guy. But if you really want this, perhaps you need to give him time. Give him space to realize in his own time what he’s missing.”

My eyebrows raise and I look at Zak to find him nodding.

“I agree,” he says. “I’m not sure when our resident man whore became so philosophical, but he’s right. Things were good last week, right? So, try and go back to that. Hanging out. Being friends. Make him miss you by being there all the damn time.”

“Ignoring the man whore comment,” Alex says, punching Zak’s arm, “you need to do that thing that girls do. You know when someone breaks up with them, so then they start dressing up and looking hotter than ever to try and get them back?”

I frown. “Does that ever work?”

“Not on me,” Alex admits. “But as Zak so eloquently pointed out, I never went back for seconds until Sasha.”

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