Page 93 of Golden

Me: Maybe I’m not as clever as u think

My heart is in my throat, and I shove my coffee at Zak as I stare at my phone, waiting for the three dots. There’s nothing. Then they start and stop several times, and I watch, barely breathing.

Wes: I’m so sorry, Sol.

“I’m going to his room,” I say, getting to my feet.

Zak’s brown eyes widen. “What? Seriously?”

“I don’t want to have this conversation over text.” I stride back into the foyer and grab my jacket from the hook.

“How do you even know he’s there?” Zak asks, trailing behind me, our coffees still in his hands.

“He wouldn’t be texting this in front of his parents. He’s home. I’m sure of it.”

Zak’s mouth presses into a thin line. “Be careful. Think with your head, not your . . . other head.”

I narrow my eyes at him. “Fuck you. But thanks.”

“I’m here,” he says. “Whatever happens. Okay?”

“Okay.” I exhale. “Thanks.”

Clutching my phone, I jog down the steps and head toward the dorms.

Me: Apology accepted

Wes: You shouldn’t accept it.

Me: Too late. I already did

A cluster of Bees walk past, and I tear my attention from my phone as they call my name, giving them a smile and a wave.

Wes: You deserve so much more. I hope you know that. You deserve someone who treats you like a king. Not like dirt.

My heart twists and I walk faster. If we were together, this would feel like a breakup.

Sol: Maybe I like dirty

It’s a lame attempt to lighten the mood, but there is a little truth to it. I fucking love the way Wes talks when we’re together, and my stomach flutters at the memory, my dick twitching. I lie awake at night sometimes, my own hand on my throat as I jerk off, trying to imagine Wes’ dirty words of encouragement in my ear.

Wes: There’s a difference between dirty talk and respect.

I frown at my phone.

Me: I know

Wes: I do respect you. You know that, right?

Pressing my lips together, I turn up the path for the dorms, but there’s no one around to buzz me in. I could tell Wes I’m here, but there’s every chance he’ll spook and tell me to leave. It’s all fine and well having this conversation over text, but I need to hear the words from his lips, so I lean against the wall beside the door and wait.

Me: I do now

He reads it but there are no dots. I’m so busy staring at my phone, I don’t hear Lake and Brody coming up the path until they’re right in front of me.

“Hey, Captain,” Lake says as Brody swipes his entry card. “What you doing here?”

I push off the wall with a smile. Lake and Brody are juniors on the lacrosse team with me, and I’ve never been happier to see them. “I’m surprising a friend but couldn’t get in.”

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