Page 94 of Golden

Lake gestures to where Brody is holding the door open. “Problem solved.”

“Thanks,” I say, fist bumping them both. “See you at practice in the morning.”

Wes: If I could go back . . .

My breath catches and I almost stumble as I jog up the stairs to his floor. I pause on the landing, trying not to let my hope get away from me as I think of ways that sentence could end.

Me: ?

Wes: It doesn’t matter. I can’t.

By the time I step onto his floor, I’m breathing hard, my palms clammy and my heart pounding. When my phone vibrates again, I’m outside his door.

Wes: I’m so sorry.

I stare at the message, take a deep breath, and knock.

SOL

Wes’ eyes widen in surprise as he opens the door, his phone still in his hand. He’s wearing the same dark green sweatpants he was wearing at Grinds, but the white t-shirt he’s wearing now is tattered, with stains on the front.

“Sol? What are you doing here?”

I lift my phone. “I wanted to hear it from you.”

Wes’ shoulders slump and he nods, stepping aside to let me in. I haven’t been in his room since that night, and it looks different. Books and papers are stacked on the floor, his bed unmade, and laundry is scattered on the floor around the hamper.

“Sorry about the mess,” he mutters. “I wasn’t expecting company.”

I huff a laugh. “Clearly.”

Wes leans against his desk and takes off his glasses, rubbing a hand over his face before replacing them. “I’m sorry.”

Shoving my hands in my pockets, I rock back on my heels. “That’s it?”

“You know it’s not,” Wes says, glancing at me before returning his attention to the floor. “I shouldn’t have left that morning in Portland, and I should never have let you walk out of here.”

“Why did you?”

He sucks in a breath. “That night, you asked me what I was scared of.”

“And you never answered.” This feels like a dangerous game, and I have no idea what the rules are. He might be sorry, but that doesn’t mean things are going to change.

“I was scared ofyou,” he says, shaking his head.

My eyebrows shoot up. “Because I’m so terrifying?”

“Because I was falling for you.” Wes says the words so quietly, it takes a moment for them to sink in.

I swallow, not sure what to say, my brain hanging on the past tense.

“Even though you told me you wanted to give us a try, I was too scared to take the risk.” Wes draws in a long breath, his gaze still fixed on the carpet. “You’re still figuring stuff out, and why the hell would you stick with the first guy you hooked up with? I knew if I let things continue the way they were . . . I was scared of the pain. I knew when things ended it would destroy me, so I figured the smart thing to do was to never let it start.”

My heart thunders in my chest, my mind reeling. “Fuck you.”

Wes’ head snaps up, his wide eyes meeting mine.

“You wrote us off before you even gave us a chance.” I shake my head, a laugh of disbelief rising in my throat. “You made the decision for the both of us.”

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