Page 148 of Read Me (Forget the Past 2)

I begin reading. The scene has no real action. Just two characters talking, arguing. The peasant is desperate to understand the motives of the beast. The words they throw back and forth aren’t the ones Cole and I spoke to each other, but the feel of the scene is reminiscent of that night. Anxiety stings at my nerve endings.

Then I reach a line, the full thing italicized as if for emphasis.

“Why did I lie, you ask? I lied because I am a monster and you are perfection. I lied because I am selfish, and I want you. I lied because the truth of me is a dark twisted mass. I lied because I am terrified. Terrified of life without you in it. I am desperate for you, and I believed lies were the only way to keep you from leaving. If I had known that truth was the key to you, I would have shared every detail of my pathetic existence.”

The rest of the words are hard to comprehend, and it takes me a moment to realize that tears are obscuring the screen. Wiping them away, I consume the rest of the chapter. As the character’s speech morphs into words from Cole’s mouth, they read like a desperate confession.

I should’ve known that once he put everything down on paper it would flow smoothly. That it would make sense.

That he could use his pen to break my heart.

Chapter Forty-Nine

SUMMER

We were both wrong, I decide.

Cole kept things from me, but I was waiting for him to make a mistake. I never even gave a permanent version of us a fighting chance.

No wonder the man didn’t want to be vulnerable with me.

But if I’m interpreting his story correctly, he just waved the white flag. The man offered to crack open his hard outer shell and give me a peek at the darkness inside him.

As long as I give him a chance

My lunch break is almost over, so I make a quick decision, pulling my phone from my purse and navigating to my contacts list.

The call rings once before getting picked up.

“Summer?” Cole’s voice is guarded, but I know him well enough by now to detect a hint of hope.

“Cole Allemand.” Even after all this time, I still love saying his full name. I breathe in deep, giving myself precious seconds to figure out how to ask what I want to ask. Something I probably should’ve had ready before I got on the phone.

“Are you okay?”

“What? Oh. Yes. I’m fine.” I wish my cellphone was like the landlines from my childhood. That way I could have one of those twisty cords to fiddle with. Instead, I stack and re-stack items on my desk. “Could you give me a ride home after work?”

“You’re still riding the bus.” It’s not a question, and Cole sounds unhappy. I’m not sure if it’s because I’m asking for a ride when we’re not together anymore, or if he’s pissed I haven’t gotten a car to replace my old one yet.

“The bus isn’t bad. If picking me up is inconvenient—”

“I want to drive you.” His words send happy little flutters through me.

Glad to know he doesn’t detest the idea of being in a car with me. Maybe my olive branch will work.

“Well, good. Because I want you to drive me. I’m staying with my mom.”

“Good. You shouldn’t be alone.”

I try not to roll my eyes. His concern is warranted. My safety is something I should take more seriously.

“So, if you don’t mind, I would like you to pick me up from work, drive me to my mom’s house, and then I would like you to walk inside said house with me and meet my mother.”

Silence on the other end.

I guess that’s better than hearing another woman’s voice in the background asking Cole to hurry up and get back in bed.

“I know that whatever relationship we were building kind of imploded. But I want to rebuild. You’re…” Damn, I think I might cry. Thank the universe I have my own office for these uncomfortable emotional breakdowns. “You’re important to me, Cole. I don’t want to lose you because I’m scared I’ll lose you.”

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