Page 19 of Once Removed (Blackhawk Security)

Brody frowned. “Have you had those kinds of problems at work?”

She took another sip of wine to fortify herself, then pressed the glass to her chest. “I’m sure everyone in town knows how Ron died and that I was at the compound when the firefighters discovered his body. And most of them probably know I’m living in your house.

“Most of my clients have been wonderful. Supportive and kind. But some…” She swallowed and stared into her wine glass. “Some were nosy. Wanted details about how he died. Several of them were wary. Suspicious. I knew they were wondering if I’d killed Ron.”

Brody’s only reaction was the whitening of his fingers around his beer bottle. After a moment, he said, “You going to keep them as clients?”

Lainey set her wine carefully on the table, avoiding Brody’s gaze. “I don’t have a choice. My practice is still relatively new, and I’m trying to attract more clients. I can’t afford to kick any of my current clients to the curb because they gave me the side-eye about Ron’s death. I need to grit my teeth and ignore the looks.”

“I’m sorry,” Brody murmured. “You’re in an impossible situation. You have to face people who think you’re a murderer and ignore their suspicions. Remain business-like. That sucks, Lainey.”

She relaxed into the back of the chair. “You’re right. It does. But I appreciate that you haven’t pushed me for details. You just let me talk.” She glanced over at Brody and saw only concern in his eyes. For her. He needed to know how much she appreciated that. “It’s really nice coming back here every night and being able to let it go,” she said in a rush. “Not having to think about it. I feel trapped when someone pushes me for information about Ron and what happened at the compound.”

Brody watched her for a long moment, then sighed. “I was afraid that might happen. But I didn’t want to press. To push you to talk about it. There’s nothing I can do to make your days better, and that’s a hard thing to admit. To know a person I care about is hurting and I can’t fix it.”

That made her smile. “You can’t fix everything, Brody. And you’ve already done so much. You offered me a place to stay to get away from the memories in my house. A place to keep me safe from the prowler, and far from deputies like Stu Stevens -- friends of Ron who blame me for his firing. Guys who look at me with suspicion. You gave me a haven when I needed one. I’d say you’ve done more than enough.”

“Not nearly as much as I want to give you, Lainey,” he said in a low voice. His eyes gleamed with concern. Caring.

Desire. The same desire that welled up inside her whenever she let her control slip.

Brody held her gaze, and she couldn’t look away from the emotion in the depths of his green eyes. The room was quiet. No noise from outdoors penetrated the windows. But Lainey was sure Brody could hear her heart thundering in her chest. Hear the roaring in her ears as she lost herself in the heat of his gaze.

“Brody, I…”

“I know, Lainey,” he said, interrupting her. “I understand. It’s too early. You’re still too raw. You’re dealing with a lot right now. I get it. But when you’re ready, I’ll be here for you.” He leaned closer, and she instinctively edged toward him. Like a magnet with iron, Brody was impossible to resist.

“It’s not just Ron’s death and its aftermath,” she murmured, holding his gaze. “It’s me as well. Our marriage wasn’t happy. Not… not what I wanted. I stayed too long, probably because I didn’t have the energy to leave. And I don’t like that about myself. I don’t like that I was a victim. Don’t like that I didn’t kick him out the first time he laid a hand on me in anger. I need to be very sure I won’t make that mistake again.”

She frowned, then swiveled to face Brody. “Not that I think you’re anything like Ron,” she said, speaking so quickly the words ran together. “It’s my flaw I need to fix.”

Brody shifted in his chair to move closer to Lainey. “You’re the strongest woman I know, Lainey. I’ve thought that since the first time I met you.”

“I don’t feel very strong right now,” she murmured. “I feel stupid. Like I failed at what should have been the most important relationship in my life.”

“You didn’t fail, Lainey. The failure of your marriage is on Ron.”

“You’re wrong,” she shot back. “There are two people in a marriage, and when it fails, it’s on both of them.”

“Not if one of them is a monster,” Brody retorted. “Which is exactly what Ron was. Only monsters beat women. That’s not on you. That’s on Ron.”

“Then why didn’t I see it?” Lainey whispered. That was the question she’d asked herself since the first time Ron had struck her.

“Because people are good at hiding their true selves,” he said with a sigh. He flopped back against the cushion of the chair, staring at the wall for a long moment before turning to study her. “I’ve had those kinds of doubts, too,” he said quietly. “I blamed myself when my marriage went south, just like you’re doing. Wondered why I couldn’t see who she was before we married. Why hadn’t I understood her lack of depth? Her superficial values. Why I was shocked when she thought she deserved half of the property I’ve worked all my adult life to develop and maintain?”

He shook his head. “I still wonder why I hadn’t seen that train wreck coming. It doesn’t necessarily mean you screwed up. It just means that some people are better at hiding their true selves.”

Brody tried to smile, but Lainey saw the pain beneath it. “We’ve done exactly what I promised myself I wouldn’t do -- drag you into a heavy, painful discussion of what happened,” he said. “I’m sorry.”

“Not your fault,” she said immediately. She bit her lip and glanced away. “You’re just too damn easy to talk to.”

After taking another sip of her wine, Lainey changed the subject and told Brody about her trip to the funeral home. “I probably should have a service,” she said, taking another gulp of wine. “But I can’t face that. Standing in a funeral parlor for hours, accepting condolences when I’m only glad that he won’t hurt me again? Knowing that some of the people who showed up knew he’d been beating me and did nothing? Some of them would be wondering if I’d killed him. That sounds like hell.”

“Then I’m glad you decided against it,” Brody said immediately. “There’s no reason to put yourself through that. I suspect plenty of people in Helena realized what was going on between you and Ron -- small towns are wonderful, but they’re also gossip factories. All the deputies he worked with certainly knew he beat you -- most of them probably had to arrest him at some point. And people can’t resist juicy gossip like that.”

She stared down into her glass of wine, swirling the red liquid up the sides of the glass. “I’ve considered moving to Bozeman or Butte,” she said in a low voice. “Getting away from Helena and all the memories, both my own and the people in town. Or even going back to Spokane, where I grew up. But I’d have to start from scratch. Build another practice, get licensed if I move out of state, find new clients. And I really don’t want to do that.”

Brody set his beer bottle on the small table. Gently plucked the wine glass from her hand and set it beside his beer. Then he stood up, took her hand and drew her to her feet.

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