Page 32 of Once Removed (Blackhawk Security)

Chapter 10

“What?” Brody swiveled in his chair to face her. “Was anything stolen? Wrecked? Damaged?”

“The window on the back door was broken. The intruder apparently punched out a pane of glass, stuck his hand inside the door and unlocked it.” Lainey wrapped her arms around herself, remembering her dread when she’d felt the coldness in the house. Her fear when she’d seen that broken window. Her shock at finding the tangle of clothes in her bedroom and the files scattered around her office.

“Lainey.” Brody reached for her hand and folded his fingers around it. His grip was firm. Comforting. His fingers around hers made her feel safe. “Start from the beginning.”

She let go of his hand, shocked at her sense of loss as his fingers slid away from hers. To hide her reaction, she stood up to pace. “I was going over there to get more clothes and pick up the mail.” She described her unease as soon as she entered the house. Finding the broken window and calling Pete Jacobs. Seeing the messes in her bedroom and office. Chilled by the memories, she shivered, and Brody stood up and tugged her against him. Wrapped his arms around her.

She yearned to fold herself against him. Into him. So badly. With Brody holding her, she’d know she was safe. But she’d told him she needed time. Space. So she couldn’t allow herself to lean on him.

Even though she wanted to. More than anything.

She straightened reluctantly. Pushed down her fear and desolation. Tried to focus on the break-in instead of Brody and how close he was.

Clearing her throat, she said, “I didn’t look through the papers on the floor of my office -- I didn’t have time. And I didn’t want to go over there after work. I, ah, didn’t want to be at the house after dark. I’ll go this weekend.”

“Did you notice anything missing?”

“No, but I didn’t look very hard. I had an appointment with a potential new client and I didn’t want to be late.” She shrugged. “Whoever had broken in either found what they were looking for, or not.”

Brody was so close. His piney, fresh air scent washed over her. Calmed her. She ached to press into him. Take some of his strength to bolster hers.

She edged closer, but couldn’t bring herself to close the final few inches that separated her from Brody. She was the one who’d said she wasn’t ready.

Even though she knew, deep down, that she’d been ready for Brody for a very long time.

As if he’d read her mind, Brody said, “Lainey, it’s okay to lean on me.” He leaned closer, holding her gaze. “I won’t make assumptions. Won’t push. But if you need comfort, if you need someone to hold on to, I’m here.”

“What if I want you to push?” She’d blurted the words before she had time to think. To bite them back. But as soon as they were out of her mouth, she realized they were true. If Brody pushed, she’d welcome him. Open her arms to him.

And that wasn’t fair. She was the one who’d erected the boundaries. She was the one who’d said she needed time.

His eyes darkened, but he didn’t move closer. “I’d welcome that, Lainey. I want to be there for you. I want to give you what you need. I think you know that. But I’d never push you. Never try to make choices for you.”

She knew he wouldn’t. And that was exactly why she… why she cared about him. Trusted him. Craved him. “I know, Brody,” she whispered. “I know you wouldn’t push me for anything I wasn’t ready for. Which is why I feel safe enough to tell you it’s okay to push a little.”

Brody leaned closer. “Tell me what you need. Do you want me to hold you? Kiss you?” He swallowed as his held her gaze with his brilliantly blue eyes. “Do you want to make love with me?”

“Yes. To everything.” She pressed her lips together, but it was too late to keep the words from escaping. She shouldn’t have said that. But with his eyes on hers, seeing that he wanted it too, she couldn’t hold back.

Brody’s pupils dilated, and she couldn’t look away. Desire blazed in the brilliant blue depths of his eyes. In the week she’d been staying with him, she’d learned his goodness was bone-deep. Brody was a man who’d love her fiercely. Stand by her side. Take care of her.

Let her take care of him.

And she’d realized that although her marriage had been over long ago, inertia had kept her with Ron. By the time she’d filed for divorce, he’d already gotten the job at the compound and moved out. After that, she rarely saw him. He’d come and gone when she wasn’t home.

Should she have kicked him out the minute he raised his hand to her? Absolutely. But she’d hoped he’d change. Hoped that first blow was an aberration. That he wouldn’t do it again.

With Ron, she hadn’t been the strong woman she wanted to be.

“I don’t want to use my marriage to Ron as an excuse to back away from you, Brody,” she murmured. “That marriage was over long before he died. The divorce was just legal paperwork. And the fact that he was murdered doesn’t change any of that.

“But… but we have a child staying with us. A child who needs our attention. Who doesn’t want to be alone in that bedroom at night. I’m not interested in a quickie, Brody. I want to spend the night with you. Fall asleep with you and wake up with you.”

One corner of his mouth quirked up as he studied her. “You know I’m going to have a hell of a time falling asleep after hearing that?”

She nodded. “Me, too, Brody. Me too.”

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