Page 73 of One in Three

I need some air. I haven’t smoked since I was in college, but the last few days have had me back on the Marlboro Reds, though I’ve had to limit myself to work hours because of Kit. I grab my bag and go down to the mezzanine floor, shoving open the glass doors to the terrace overlooking the street.

I light up, and inhale the reassuring hit of nicotine and carcinogenic chemicals. AJ dropped the ball on Vine, but I should’ve caught the cock-up myself, and I would’ve done, if Louise wasn’t taking up all the space on my mental hard drive. I still don’t know what really happened the night Andy stayed at her place. The doubt is gnawing away at me. I’m reaping the reward of everymistress: I know without question the man I love is a liar.

I should’ve walked away from Andy a long time ago, before we ever got married, the second I found out he’d lied to me. I know that. There’s only one reason I haven’t, and it’s the oldest and lamest one in the book. I love him.

It doesn’t take a genius to figure out why I fell for a man nearly twenty years older than me. Daddy issues, I hold my hands up, but who doesn’t have issues of some sort or another? My father died when I was eleven. A record producer, he was travelling with one of his bands when the minibus came off the road. The lead singer and bass guitarist survived, and lived to re-form another day, but Dad and three other band members and the driver were all killed. It was just Mum and me after that, no brothers and sisters to take the edge off, just the two of us. Mum never remarried, or even dated again. If I’m a screw-up, I lay it at her door.

But Kit’s here now, and I owe it to him to keep his family together. If Andy and Louise did have a nostalgic fuck, it doesn’t have to mean the end ofus. I can get past it. If it was just once. If it doesn’t happen again.

My cigarette shakes in my hand. Despite my bravado, the thought of the two of them together is crucifying me. How could he even bear to touch her, after what she did to him? I was the one who picked up the pieces and put him back together. He may choose to forget it now, but I know just how much she hurt him.

I stub out my cigarette just as a black cab pulls upin the street below. Tina Murdoch gets out, glancing up at the building, and I duck back out of sight. Christ. This is all I need.

Patrick is waiting by the lifts when I go back inside, just as Tina rises up towards us in the glassed-in elevator like the phantom of the opera. He steps forward as she alights, his hand extended, but she goes in for a one-two air-kiss, and he submits with good grace. ‘Good to see you again, Tina.’

‘Always a pleasure, Patrick. Hello, Caz. I thought I’d come in personally to introduce my new PR to Whitefish,’ Tina says, gesturing to the woman hovering behind her. ‘I’m sure you’ll all make her feel welcome.’

I don’t know whether to laugh or cry.

‘Good to see you again, Louise,’ Patrick says, giving her a warm hug. ‘It’s been a while.’

‘You know each other?’ I blurt.

Louise smiles coolly. ‘We met a few years ago, when I did a piece on Patrick for thePost.’

‘Far kinder than I deserved,’ Patrick adds.

My fingernails dig so deeply into my palms, I’m certain I draw blood. ‘I had no idea you did PR work, Louise.’

Her smile doesn’t falter, but her eyes are like chips of granite. ‘Most journalists can turn their hand to PR,’ she says. ‘I found myself with some spare time, and Chris – sorry, I forgot you go by Tina at work – was in a bit of a bind, so I offered to help out. We go back a long way,’ she adds, clearly relishing every moment of this. ‘Actually, we were at school together. You probablydidn’t know that when she introduced you to my husband at that RSPCA fundraiser.’

I feel sick. Of course I had no idea Louise knew Tina Murdoch. Andy’s mentioned Louise’s best friend ‘Chris’ a few times, but I’d never met her and it’d never occurred to me who she really was. No wonder Tina tried to get me fired: I ran off with her best friend’s husband. She probably blamed herself for introducing us in the first place. She’s obviously wangled this job for Louise now to fuck with me. I am in deeper shit than I ever imagined.

‘Louise will be my liaison on the Univest campaign,’ Tina says, her gaze drilling into me. ‘She’s got my full authority to make any decisions necessary on the account.’

‘I think having someone here in-house to oversee your PR strategy and take advantage of the synergy with our ad campaign will be very helpful,’ Patrick says. ‘It’s not something we do very often, but we’re a small enough company to make it work, and I’ve found it useful before. Look, I’m afraid I have to dash,’ he adds to Louise, ‘I’ve got a conference call with New York, but I’ll catch up with you later. Tina, do you have time for a quick word in private?’

With a final, malicious glance in my direction, Tina leaves us alone. Louise ignores me completely, strolling out onto the terrace like she owns the place. It takes me a moment to recover myself, and then I storm after her, so angry I can hardly see straight. ‘What thefuckare you doing here?’

‘Such a lovely view,’ Louise says, leaning on the railing. ‘What a wonderful part of town to work. I’m so looking forward to—’

‘Cut the crap. Why are you here?’

‘You started this,’ she hisses, dropping the act.

I’m suddenly aware people are watching us through the plate glass windows, and lower my voice. ‘What are you talking about?’

‘You know damn well. Sussex University had an anonymous tip about my record, and decided my services were no longer required.’ Her voice hardens. ‘I have children to feed, or didn’t you think about that? I still have to keep a roof over our heads—’

‘A roof over your head? You’re living inmyfucking house!’

‘It’ll be my house soon,’ she says coldly. ‘And I will be living there withmyhusband.’

She walks away, leaving me rooted to the spot. I’ve always known she hates me, but I had no idea just how much. I wonder if she’s a little mad. She was locked up in a psych ward once for attacking the wife of an ex-boyfriend; that’s why she’s got that criminal record. It was a long time ago, but how do I know she’s not going to do something crazy again?

The knot in my stomach tightens. Andy, the one person I’d normally talk about all this with, the one person who should have my back, is part of the problem. I don’t think I’ve ever felt so isolated in my life.

Chapter 17

---