Page 15 of Monsters Within (The Creatures We Crave 1)
Alexandra
What was this inferno of desire sparking within me at his threat? I’d never felt such soul-shattering need slam through me.
Even as my pussy spasmed, I stood and crossed my arms in mock defiance, scoffing at his claim. “Oh, you’re going to spank me, Lucien? I highly doubt that.”
Fuck, I wanted nothing more than for him to prove me wrong right now. Was it probably terrible timing? Sure, I had a lot to figure out. Did my body care about the logical facts? Not one fucking bit.
A dark laugh rumbled from him that had my skin pebbling and a jolt of adrenaline coursing through me. Despite never having crossed that line with him, a part of me knew without a doubt he would do that. And I had a sneaking suspicion I’d fucking love it.
It would also be my last ditch effort to prove that I couldn’t wake up from this. At least that was what I was telling myself to make this seem like the right path to follow right now.
“Don’t push me, angel,” he warned as his eyes narrowed, simmering with his own desire. “You don’t know this side of me. Don’t challenge me unless you want to find out just how serious I am.”
Just as my mouth opened to make a retort, strong arms wrapped around my waist and hauled me into their lap. A squeak came from me at my surprise, but I was instantly calmed by the gentle way Elwin held me.
“Love,” he whispered, pulling my chin up with his finger until I was gazing into his eyes. “Let’s think this through. Have you ever had a dream like this before?”
For a second I was so lost in his gaze and the desire to run my fingers through his blonde locks and to kiss his plush lips that were so damn close…that I didn’t answer. Swallowing hard, I blinked rapidly and murmured, “Uhm, no.”
My body still felt like it was on fire from Lucien’s touch, and it was easily transforming into electricity simmering under my skin in Elwin’s arms.
He nodded and asked, “So why are you so hellbent on thinking this is one despite us telling you it isn’t?”
My eyes dropped from his and landed on the notebook next to us on the bed.
It was an immediate crash back to my true thoughts. The reason I was fucking terrified to let myself believe in this moment.
My arousal was gone, and the part of me that was now spasming was my heart. It felt like tiny pinpricks were stabbing the organ as I tried to find the courage to admit all of this out loud. Because if I said it, I couldn’t take the words back.
These words were my opportunity to be truthful with myself and someone who cared about me for the first time that I could recall. It required so much damn trust and faith in that other person to not exploit your wounds or your insecurities.
I had to trust them.
Tears pricked my eyes, and I looked back to him and whispered, “Because I’m scared to let myself think this could be real, only to have it ripped away from me again and to realize I’m actually still alone.” Understanding dawned in his eyes, and my voice wobbled with vulnerability. “I’m tired of being alone.”
As a tear dropped from my eye at my admission, he reached out to gently wipe it away with his finger. “You’ve never been alone, love. We’ve always been here for you. Ever since we were children together. We were there when you first discovered your love of mint chocolate chip ice cream.”
My heart clenched at the memory I had written about so young. In reality, I had never tried that flavor, only heard about other kids on the playground describing it. So, I had written myself trying it in the story while I was with them. They had tried it too. It had been easy enough to imagine the flavors with such basic ingredients.
Lucien’s voice rumbled, “We were there when you had your heart broken for the first time.”
Flinching at the reminder, I shook my head and forced myself to take deep breaths as I recalled the moment.
Adam Finkle. I was such a pre-teen with a massive crush, and I had finally worked up the courage to tell him I thought he was cute. Of course, at the time, that felt like the hardest thing I’d ever done. I was young and naive, picturing him telling me he felt the same. I thought we’d hold hands and become boyfriend and girlfriend.
He’d laughed in my face and told me he’d never be seen with a loser like me.
I’d run back from the local playground to my foster home and locked myself in my room, losing myself in my notebook with my monsters. They consoled me and told me he wasn’t good enough for me. That I deserved someone who treasured me.
Heat spread through my face as the tears started to really flow now. Elwin tightened his grip around me and pressed a kiss to my forehead, silently telling me he was here for me and that it was okay to feel these emotions.
“We were there when you turned eighteen and had to leave your final foster home,” Kylo whispered, likely because he knew that was the biggest wound of all and I still hadn’t healed from it.
I sucked in a breath and bit my bottom lip hard, trying to hold in the sob that threatened to come from me.
That was the day the harsh reality had set in of just how alone I was. Sure, my social worker had helped me with turning in my college applications and finding scholarships, but after I’d been accepted by my current college and awarded my academic scholarship? I’d packed my few meager belongings and walked out of my last foster home and stood on the steps, gazing back at the home.
Loud laughs of the other children had drifted through the air, yet no one came to say goodbye. I’d always known that I hadn’t fit in well with them or my foster parents, but a part of me had still hoped a piece of them would be sad to see me go. Instead it was like I’d simply ceased to exist in their minds and lives. As easy as throwing out a bag of trash and never thinking of it again.
