Page 57 of Monsters Within (The Creatures We Crave 1)
Elwin
As the water from the shower rained down against my back, soaking my hair as I hung my head, I tried to stop replaying the sounds of Alexandra’s moans and breathy words in my head. She’d sounded fucking beautiful, and it had awoken a new side of myself I’d never felt before.
Knowing that we only had memories from her stories, it made sense that I’d never had the opportunity to have a sexual awakening, so to speak. We’d never even gotten close to that. The closest we’d had was a few kisses and cuddling.
Raising my hands and splaying them against the tiled front wall, I dug my fingertips in as my cock strained with need.
At first I had felt somewhat inferior to my brothers, who I knew for a fact had now both brought her to climax. The way Lucien had smirked at me and told me he thought she would enjoy me watching frustrated me to no end, for the simple fact that I had no idea what she would enjoy.
I had always been somewhat skeptical of the place I held in her life. Looking at it objectively, I was probably the safe, boring option in comparison to Kylo or Lucien.
The latter was fucking crazy, but I knew from watching them that it drew Alexandra in like a moth to a flame. She didn’t care about the danger it posed—she just knew she couldn’t fight the pull to it. He was impulsive and thrilling, in the sense that you never knew what you were going to get.
And then there was Kylo, the commanding one who challenged Alexandra constantly. He didn’t let her get her way if he felt it posed a risk to her safety. I saw the way it made the wheels in her mind turn when she went toe to toe with him—a part of her sought out that tension and desire to have someone put her in her place, but she’d go down kicking and screaming to show she wasn’t a pushover. Secretly she loved it, though.
I was the safe option, and for a while I thought I was okay with that. We all had our roles to play, right? It was amazing to know she’d always come to me with her problems, to know I was that safe place she needed. No judgment, ever. It was an important aspect, and I didn’t want to belittle that because I knew how much she had needed that growing up.
But now that we were in this reality with her and things were moving forward emotionally and physically, I couldn’t help but think about how she felt toward me in that sense. I wasn’t exciting or challenging in the way we interacted, but there was a new side of me that was steadily unfurling, and I wasn’t sure if it would make her run the other way.
It was a complete contrast to our current relationship.
While she was used to me empowering her and giving in to her every whim, this other part of me desired the opposite. I wanted her at my complete mercy and the trust she’d proven to have in me tested.
I needed to feel that it went both ways between us, with her emotional needs met along with the physical ones I was beginning to have. What it came down to was that I wanted to be confident in all aspects of our relationship. I was completely sure of myself and my masculinity, so it didn’t bother me when my brother said I was whipped by her when I rolled over for what she wanted.
However, when I pictured having her to myself in her bedroom, I visualized her delicate skin bound by silk, completely at my mercy. I wanted her to be vulnerable. I’d own her body and all of its nuances.
Every moan.
Every sharp intake of breath.
Every time her eyelids fluttered.
Every bite to her lip.
In public, I’d do whatever she wanted, but in private, she’d do what I commanded.
At least that’s how it played out in my mind.
A sharp bang on the door pulled me from my tumultuous thoughts as Kylo called out, “Come on! I still need to shower before we meet downstairs.”
I’d completely forgotten for a moment that we were all sharing one bathroom and that Kylo was the last to need it.
I needed to clear my mind, but there was only one way to work through this properly, and it was going straight to the object of my thoughts and desires. I couldn’t keep waiting for her to make the move—not when that wasn’t truly how I wanted it to be.
Fear of rejection burned brightly through me as I turned the water off and wiped the wet hair from my brow. Stepping out, I grabbed a towel and wrapped it around my hips, heading to the stairs immediately.
I couldn’t give myself time to back out.
Giving Kylo a generic answer as he called after me, asking if I was okay, I continued down the stairs. This was a huge moment that could decide the fate of our relationship, but after containing this side of myself for two days now, I knew I couldn’t keep hiding it much longer.
Alexandra deserved to know the real me, just as she was sharing her true self with us. The woman we knew her to be before was slightly different, more headstrong and vicious at times, but I found this version of her even more enchanting.
Walking past the kitchen and knocking on her door, I waited a beat but no response came. Pushing the door open a bit, I looked to see if she was there, but as I opened it fully and didn’t see her, my eyes fell to the closed bathroom door.
Steam was lightly billowing from the bottom opening, and I had to stifle the groan at the thought of her body naked and wet on the other side. As my eyes rolled back in my head, I brought my closed fist up to my mouth and bit down.
Fuck, was I really going to just walk in there and drop all of this on her?
