Page 11 of Starting Something

"Silly girl." She tsks me. She actually tsks me.

I stop her from saying anything else. My mother is hardly an expert on love. "Mother, what is this all about? Why are you not going back home with Father?"

"Because...I'm leaving him." Her words have my mouth falling open. Nothing she could say would shock me more. But she’s not done. "We're...separating."

"Mother...?!"

"He's not been...right since he lost all his money in the war...well, he's never been right exactly. Our union wasn't a love match but one my father made for me."

I can not believe what my mother is saying.

"It took me coming to the island to see...how things could be." I sit stunned and unmoving. "I think...this is what your father wants too, he...wasn't put out by the fact I was staying. In fact, I think he was almost...relieved."

My mother and I talk for a little bit more while I try to come to terms with what she is telling me and choke down the toast on the plate in front of me. Then she leaves me after helping me dress for the day. I'm still stunned when Shephard comes into the room.

"Hello Tilly Love. I was just coming to see if you wanted to go for a drive with me."

"I...I don't think so."

He actually looks shocked that I turned him down. He cocks his eyebrow up at me. "What is it? What's wrong?"

Damn! He can tell there’s something bothering me. "Mother came to speak to me this morning." I can tell by the look on his face that he knows what is going on. He knows! "You knew."

"I simply told her she would always have a home here on this island."

"You made it alright for my mother to leave my father? How could you?" All of the fear and uncertainty that my mother called forth comes out and I take it out on Shephard.

"How could I? How could I not? Your father is a horrible man. Full of himself with no love for his wife or his children!"

I know what he says is true but still, I fight him. "He...he is not." He really is. I don't know why I am fighting so hard for him. "He doesn't beat us or..."

"He doesn't have to! He beats you down with words and rules!"

"Are you any different?" I put words to my biggest fear. "How can you even suggest he is an awful person when you brought me here for nothing more than my womb?"

My voice cracks on the question and my eyes fill with stupid tears.

"You said yourself it didn't matter if it was me or my sister...or some other woman you could buy even. Why should I stay with you when you are just like my father, that you seem so quick to condemn?"

"You will not leave me! You are MINE!"

"Because I might be carrying your precious heir!?"

"No!" he replies quickly, not even thinking about it. "Because...I admire who you are."

"Admire?" His words confuse me all the more.

"And I appreciate how smart and sweet you are." He stands up frustrated, coming over to me to stand in front of me. "And because I understand loss."

I don't understand what he is trying to tell me. He can tell I don't understand by the look on my face because he keeps going, "I understand all of this can be gone tomorrow. And I don't want to lose you. I don't want to lose you ever!" he grasps me on the last word and pulls me in tight to him.

"Why?" I can hear myself and how I sound like I am begging him to answer me.

"Because damn it - I love you!" Tears break free and course down my face as he repeats his words to me. "I love you."

I open my mouth to say the words back to him but he tenses as the grandfather clock in the downstairs hall sounds the hour.

"Which is why I need you to come with me."

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