Page 19 of Diesel

“I’m sorry, I’ve said too much; don’t worry, you will find out everything soon enough.” Her expression is one of sadness. She knows so much more than she is letting on, and now I have to find out what this list is about and why does who I am matter to this school–besides the obvious pay cheque they get from my father.

Lux is warming up when I slide up beside her, she looks at me and then over to the guys who are sharing the gym with us today. The whole school is going through renovations, a few modern updates without jeopardising its original architectural integrity. All performing arts classes are also getting an upgrade, but until then, we are stuck here. Cuy is watching the girls warm up, and while he should be watching his girlfriend, I can feel his eyes on me. His are not the only set, but I refuse to acknowledge Diesel. We have had a few quiet days after I put ice on his junk, but I know he has something planned–the calm before the storm and all that jazz.

“Looking cute as always.” Cuyler says with a wink as he walks past me, and my gaze flicks up, unable to control myself. I look over at Diesel, and he scowls at me; I smirk and get back to my class. The teacher is explaining the dance steps we need to learn, and they all seem so basic and dare I say slutty for a school dance class.

After forty minutes of walk-through and practice, we pack up and head for the changing room. I always try to hang back; I hate anyone seeing my scars. People always think that’s how I tried to kill myself. I don’t deny I have tried, but I’m a coward. I couldn’t bear slitting my skin, the thought alone sends a wave of nausea through my body, the night Zeke died is too fresh; the blood. I shake the thought from my mind. Nope, I’m a coward. I swallowed a bottle of pills and having your stomach pumped is no fun. I had a 72-hour psychiatric hold since it was a suicide attempt, but due to the nature of the circumstances, my everything had just died and all I wanted to do was be with him. And the skin graft of my arm seemed like a waste of time. I didn’t know what to do, slitting my wrists was out, taking a bottle of pills was out, so giving in to the blackmail and heading to rehab was my only option left. I have to make things right and the sex tape vanish. I should never have tried to kill myself with it in someone elses hands.

“Earth to loser.” I snap out of memory lane and look up to see Kelby and Co. staring at me.

“What do you want?” I snap, no longer in the mood. I want to go back to my room, pray that Diesel is not there and relax after a horrid week.

“You need to stay away from Cuy, he is taken.” Kelby demands, crossing her arms over her chest.

“I haven’t been the one going near him, he follows me around like a lovesick puppy. Maybe Blaine needs to sort out her man.” My words make Kelby’s face go red. A smirk tilts my lips as I've clearly hit my target. I have nothing against Blaine, and I should be more mature and not poke the bear, but she makes it so easy.

“It doesn’t help that you flaunt yourself around them all the time.” She spits, and I roll my eyes.

“You must be misinformed. I cover up, not for them but for personal reasons, and I’m not interested in anyone. I didn’t ask to be here, and I’m counting down the days until I can leave. And most of all, I didn’t ask to be roomed with Diesel.” Her eyes go wide, clearly she still isn’t happy about that situation, but neither am I. “Look, I’m not happy about the whole sharing situation either. You can go back to screwing him in his room as soon as the school finds me another place to sleep.” Her mouth hangs open, before she can reply, Lux steps up beside me.

“They have never stepped foot on the room level, so she wouldn’t even know what their rooms look like.” Lux laughs at her own statement. I already knew that, Cuyler had explained it when I asked if he wanted to invite Blaine over for dinner earlier in the week.

“Wait until my father hears about this.” Kelby exclaims, her two minions having kept quiet the entire time. “You will be kicked out so fast.” I guess maybe I should let the cat out of the bag, what better way to find out what is up with me being here than to out myself.

“Kelby.” She looks at me as if I’m scum. “Calling your father would do no good, go google my father, Mitchel Jamison. I doubt Briar Boarding Academy would want me to leave since this place has zero to do with anything except money and connections.” Lux looks at me as Kelby and her friends scurry away.

“So much for not wanting anyone to know.”

“I had an epiphany of sorts. Everyone here is rich, I get that, and I understand that connections mean everything. I get the feeling I’m here for a reason like you said, one I have no interest in by the way. So, why not get this show on the road. She will call her daddy; he will confirm who my daddy is and then try to get hold of Diesel. Once he knows, I’m one step closer to figuring out what in the hell is going on.” If he doesn’t know already, surely he would have questioned why I was rooming with him.

“Damn it, I’m going to get shot. You didn’t hear this from me, FYI. Follow them Friday night, it will answer some of your questions, but don’t get yourself caught. They take this thing really seriously, and if you think you have a choice to walk away, you’re wrong. You know what this life is all about, love doesn’t exist in our world, these guys have changed the game.” With that, she walks away; she clearly needs to learn some damn basic manners.

Luna is waiting for me outside the gym. Wilder has laid off her a bit since he declared I was on his list, which is all I was hoping for. If I keep him pissed at me, he may stop taking his bullshit out on her.

“Is it true?” She asks wide eyed.

“Is what true?” I question, falling into step beside her.

“That you’re Mitchel Jamison’s daughter.”

I want to add an eye roll; I didn’t know word of who I am would travel that fast. At my last school, my name is all that mattered, except to Zeke, he is the only person who didn’t give a shit who my father was. Given he had grown up with me and my family, I was just his best friend for most of our lives.

“Yep, sure is. Now it’s going to be just like my old school. Everyone wanting to be my friend.” Her face falls, and I think I offended her. But it doesn’t make it any less true, as soon as people know who my father is, I suddenly have a line of new friends, that was until I went off the rails and no one wanted to be associated with that. Their parents didn’t have the means to cover it all up. Clearly my father didn’t do a good enough job if Diesel’s father managed to find my sex tape.

“Just so you know,” she snaps, her pissed off glare aimed my way. “I may be poor, but I don’t give a shit about your money. I was only concerned because of the Alphas. They will take you away, and I won’t have anyone. You’re the first person to actually be genuinely nice to me.”

“Hey,” I say, grabbing her elbow. She turns to face me, a tear running down her face. “I’m sorry, I wasn’t expecting word to get out so fast."

“Forgiven,” she says so easily, and that alone shows me why the Alphas walk all over her, she is too nice for her own good. “Did you start a Briar account? Kelby posted about it.”

“Of course she did. Pretty little rich girl couldn’t get her own way. Oh well, everyone knows now. I’m surprised no one caught on before now, well besides Lux.” I stop and pull out my tablet bringing up the map. I have an appointment with the guidance officer, it was a condition my father said was mandatory. You know, just in case I decide that I want to swallow a bottle of pills again or make another sex tape, which I honestly think he views as worse than me trying to kill myself. If I was dead, he wouldn’t have to do so much damage control.

“Where are you headed?”

“To see the GO, my father is worried about my mental health. This school is so damn big, I have no idea where I’m going half the time.” She laughs and tells me she is headed to the library, and the guidance officer’s room is next to it.

Luna waves goodbye when she drops me where I need to be. The electronic door opens, and I take a look around the room. It's small but has a very nice homey feel; big cream couches with fluffy pillows, a few fake plants, bookshelves full of books.

“Hi, you must be Cyrus.” A lady says, rising from the sofa. She has a very boho chic look, a long flowy dress, a pair of brown ankle boots, and her long, blonde hair with dark roots is plopped on top of her head in a messy bun.

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