Page 38 of Diesel

“That sounds just like him, just be careful. I've never seen him act this way around a girl, but that probably just means he’s up to something.” He flops over onto his stomach.

“Yeah well, it’s nice to feel wanted.” I whisper, no idea why I’m whispering, but he has no idea after Zeke died that everything inside me died along with him. Diesel makes me feel again, even when we fight, the emotions he evokes lights a fire deep in my gut. He makes me believe that I could want to live again.

“At what cost, Bambi? Plus, I pay you attention, or do you not notice that?” he asks, swimming a circle around me.

“The only thing I notice about you is that you have a girlfriend, and I’m not that kind of girl.” His bright blue eyes stare straight at me. I feel the pull with him, he is so much like Zeke; flirty, friendly, and always has a smile on his face. Being around him is nice and effortless. I have that pull to Diesel, but it is far from easy, and the feelings come more from my crotch than they do my chest.

“Not everything is as it seems, it’s kill or be killed around here. You haven't been here long enough to know how things work. We might be best friends, but since you showed up, everything is changing. You may be blinded by his charm, but trust me, he is a snake waiting to strike.” Isn’t everyone who is hiding their insecurities or secrets.

He goes back to floating beside me. Cuyler’s charm is annoying, especially when he thinks he knows me. To most, Cuy’s warning would throw them off; they are best friends, but it’s every man for themselves, and everyone knows it. Diesel would be the first to throw Cuy away if he crossed any lines. But it still pisses me off. I hate fake friendships. Not that I’m any damn better. I should tell Luna about Wilder, and yet I don’t. Because I’m selfish and want to protect Zeke, and he isn’t even alive to need protection. I should have done that when he was here.

“Yeah, well, you don’t know me enough to make that kind of assumption either, and Diesel’s your best friend.” I push down on his stomach so he sinks under the water, and I swim off towards the small wooden pier where Luna is sun baking.

“Hi.” I say, pulling myself up next to her, my body still in the water. “So you and Wilder.” She removes her sunglasses and looks at me. I don’t know why she is sun baking, her skin is a light brown naturally.

“We had a long talk last night and he explained how Rebel had a thing for me and that made him jealous, so he distanced himself, but he apologised, and we may have hooked up last night.”

That lying son of a bitch. I should just out him, but she looks so happy. “I’m happy for you, I really am. But be careful.”

“So you and Diesel looked close. I’ve never seen him openly ever kiss a girl in public.” So everyone keeps saying - he's even trying to fool his friends. Trying to throw them off their game, from what I can tell this year means something in their world, more than just graduating.

“Yeah about that.” I want to tell her, but I can’t do it. He may be all the things people say about him, but I’m not that type of spiteful girl.

“Don’t tell me you’re falling for him, the guy's heart...what am I saying, he doesn’t have a heart.”

“We can talk about it later.” I sigh, I don’t need her warnings. She slides her sunnies back down and lays back flat on her towel. I don’t want to fight with her. How can I explain to her how messed up I am? That I punish myself every day, and I deserve everything I get.

“Talk about what later?” Diesel says, coming up behind me and wrapping his arms around my waist, pulling me back down into the water.

“Nothing, just girly stuff.” His hands slide onto my waist and tingles start to build in my core. Maybe his games could have some temporary benefit, to get me out of my head, to help me forget, even if I know burying my demons again is a horrible idea.

“Well that can definitely wait,” he whispers into my ear. “I had plans to seduce you.” Ha, he really wouldn’t have to try that hard, my body seems to like the attention. What am I thinking? There’s no way I can screw around with him, my lust filled brain is clouded. I remind myself that his father is blackmailing me with a sex tape.

“Is that so? If your plan is to get me naked and into bed after a day of fun, well you’re out of luck.” I spin to face him so he knows I’m serious. He just pulls me into his arms, and my legs wrap around his waist, as he lies back and half swims to the middle of the lake.

“I would be lying if I said I haven’t thought about you naked in my bed. I don’t know, Cy, I like you and want to get to know you.” Jesus he’s good, I almost believe him. But I’m not an idiot, he even warned me about what he is like, and his personality 360 is a massive warning itself.

“The one and only Diesel Briar wants to get to know lil ol’ me?” He grabs me tighter around the waist and dunks us under the water.

Even if he is playing me, I decide right now to live in the moment. Nothing can break me after losing Zeke, so being worried Diesel is using me just to ruin me, doesn’t bother me. Let him try, he will realise the joke is on him when he finds out why I’m here.Just no sex, Cyrus. Even I didn’t sound convincing saying it to myself.

Chapter Eighteen

Cyrus

Word of Diesel and I being a ‘thing’ spread through the school like wildfire, because apparently, if Diesel Briar shows an inkling of attention to a girl in public, she has to be something special. What a crock of shit.

The Briar App even went offline for a few hours last night, so many disappointed girls. Insert eyeroll. I don’t understand why when I’m positive Diesel has never even looked in their direction. I’m happy to play the part for the time being, letting him think he has the upper hand. He isn’t in this for the long run, so using each other benefits us both.

Luna is currently talking my ear off about how amazing Wilder has been. I've decided to be happy for her, telling her the truth would just make me look like a bitch. Maybe Wilder is right. I don’t know him and to make assumptions based on patchy information isn’t fair, but I still don’t have to like him. If they knew that I came here to target Diesel and be his father’s puppet, I’m sure they would think differently of me. Well, maybe not Wilder, he hates me enough for everyone.

“Oh no, look out, the Barbie brigade is coming our way.” I turn to see Kelby, Taleah, and Blaine headed in our direction. They stop a few feet from us and cross their arms over their chests.

“Can we help you?” I ask, trying out the advice Lux gave me about them and not showing any weakness. I have a few classes with these girls, and they usually leave me alone.

“You need to stay away from Diesel, he is mine.” Kelby states, glaring down her nose at me. Luna tries to hide her laughter under a fake cough but fails miserably. I roll my eyes, there is a group of these girls at every school. The ones who lay claim to the popular guys, thinking the guys will come running to them one day.

“You know what, Kelby, Diesel doesn’t strike me as the kind of guy that would stay away, even if I wanted him to.” I reply. “Plus, if he wanted you then he would be with you.” She huffs, clearly here to get a reaction from me.

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