Page 144 of The Lost and the Found

I had only been loved by two people in my entire life.

By my mom and by Logan.

I didn’t know how to handle potentially adding more people to that list.

Being loved was one of the hardest things to endure in life, I realized.

“We’ve been looking for you for the past fifteen years,” Logan confirmed.

“Why? Why have you been looking for me. And why did my mom leave when Mathew obviously wanted to be—to be there for me?”

“It was my fault,” he said, and even I could hear the heartbreak in his voice. I pulled back to look at him.

“How?” I asked, my voice a whisper.

“Mathew and Mary couldn’t have kids because of the cancer. When she died, he was broken. I wasn’t there when it happened, so I can’t tell you about all that went on, but it was around the time your mom and Mathew got together. I believe it was just that one time, and they probably regretted the way it happened—Mathew, more so, because of what he was doing to his friend. I’m not saying the situation excused any of their behavior, I’m just saying that’s what happened.”

I nodded, because he was looking at me, his hazel eyes bright with some sort emotion I didn’t want to decipher, and it looked like he needed my confirmation then.

“It only took that one time. You were born nine months later.” He smiled a little as he said it, as if me being born was something to be celebrated. I didn’t agree. There wasn’t anything celebratory about me being born. Not the way I was conceived, and not in the years after.

“Veena and I came to live with Mathew when you were two. Veena loved you, you know, and for some time, she was your favorite person.”

“Not you?” I asked.

He looked a little sad when he said, “Not me. Richard didn’t trust me around you. He still thought you were his daughter at that time, and he didn’t want some teenaged boy from the street around you. He was afraid…”

Logan trailed off, leaving me to fill in the holes. “He thought you would hurt me like that?”

I was horrified. How could anyone take one look at Logan and think that? Not the boy who was forced to grow up too fast and had to take on the responsibility of his sister.

Logan ran his finger down my cheek, his eyes soft. “It’s okay. I was used to it. People tend to be prejudiced about other people they didn’t know or understand. But Richard didn’t have a problem with Veena being close to you and having you around her was a blessing. She didn’t think much about her living situation when she was around you. She was allowed to be a kid when you two played, so I was happy.”

“I’m sorry.”

He shrugged like it wasn’t a big deal. “That’s probably why I feel familiar to you, but you recognize Veena more than me.”

I nodded. That was true. Had I never met Veena, I would have never gotten suspicious that Logan was hiding something from me, because I could have just put off his familiarity as something strange, or if I was the romantic sort, I could have said it was because my soul recognized his.

Like soulmates.

“What?” Logan asked, smiling a little. “What put that soft look in your eyes just now?”

I shook my head away from the ridiculous notion. “Nothing. Please continue.”

His eyes turned somber. “Did you know you have Mathew’s eyes and smile?”

“I do?”

“Yeah. It’s quite unmistakable. You were sitting in Mathew’s lap one day while he was reading you a story, when I walked in the room. You both looked up at me at the same time, then you both smiled. It was quite unnerving to see that for the first time. I knew then why Mathew loved you so much. It was more than just being the daughter of his best friend.

“I talked to Mathew about it later. I didn’t think it was fair that he could be nothing more than an observer in the raising of his daughter—that he could love you so much and not be able to do anything about it. I wasn’t quiet. Richard walked into the house then, and he heard everything. We didn’t know that until much later that day, when he showed up at the restaurant with a handgun.”

I gasped, seeing where he was going with this story. He nodded.

“Did he kill anyone?”

“No, thankfully everyone made it out alive. One of the servers took a bullet to his chest, but nothing vital was hit and he was able to go back to work a month later. Richard was arrested for attempted manslaughter, assault, carrying a weapon without a license, and a slew of other charges. He’s currently serving twenty years in prison.”

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