Page 14 of The Lost and the Found

Hayden

I couldn’t focusin class the next day, which was so unlike me. Growing up with next to nothing, I was determined to make something of myself. I couldn’t screw up my future because I was still reeling from Logan.But I made it through the day, actually jotting down notes that I was sure I would have to go over again sometime later.

Then I was at the bus stop, waiting for it to take me to work. It was the same for me every day. Except for the little hiccup the night before with Logan and the men, my routine was always the same. Go to school. Hop on the bus. Go to work. Go home.

I wondered if there was any more to it. The humdrum routine of my everyday life was getting to me. It was making me feel restless for a future I wasn’t sure would happen.

The bus approaching got me out of my depressing thoughts, and just as I hoped on, I caught sight of the black Mercedes again.

Automatically, I thought of Logan.

It had been too dark when I got into his car, and there were other pressing things going on inside my head when he drove me home, but I could have sworn Logan drove a Mercedes.

But why would he be here again?

What were the odds that Logan liked to hang out near a college campus enough times that I noticed?

I quickly shook the thought out. As much I suddenly craved the sight of Logan, I couldn’t fathom why he would be at the school in the first place. He didn’t strike me as a student, or teacher, or anyone working for the school.

The bus took off, and I stuck my headphones on, listening to music on the ride to the bar.

* * *

Work wasn’t asbusy as it was the day before, but we did have a few regular customers show up. I tried to be distantly polite with each of them, because to be a “regular” at a bar just meant there was something not right with your life.

I knew what that was like, but I didn’t think I could ever allow a bottle to dictate my life.

I refilled their drinks, and John, the other bartender, kept up with some of the newer customers.Isabel and her crew left me alone for the most part, and for that, I was grateful. I didn’t want to get into anything with anyone. I wasn’t in the mood.

I had been feeling off all day. The way I said goodbye to Logan replayed in my mind the entire day, and try as I might, the image of those hazel eyes of his would not leave me.

Was he thinking about me? Did I somehow get under his skin and he was also unable to get rid of me, no matter how hard he tried? Had I completely wrecked his day, just like his hazel eyes wrecked mine?

I tried to keep myself busy with other things. Since there were only three customers at the bar top, and they all looked like they were there to watch the game, I left them alone. I walked around the bar, cleaning up messes that were left behind by previous patrons, even though we had bussers for that.

I was out of my element.

Never had my head been all consumed by a boy before.

Only Logan wasn’t a boy. He was a man. A huge man, with a wicked smile and devastating eyes. I had only been with two boys before … how would I know what to do with a man like that?

My teenage years were spent running.

My mom died when I was sixteen, and I spent the majority of the time after that as a runaway teen, doing anything I could to stay out of the system.

Sex wasn’t new or shocking to me. I’d seen enough on the streets to know I needed to steer clear of most of the men I met there. Men that weren’t clean; men that didn’t care for anyone other than themselves.

No, I wasn’t one of those people who only believed in only having sex with the people you love. Believe it or not, I was pretty good at separating sex from my emotions, even as rarely as I had done it.And the idea that I would only sleep with those I love was a laughable one. I hadn’t loved anyone in a long time.

The first time I lost my virginity, I was sixteen. And it had happened a few months before my mom died. It was mediocre at best, and honestly, I didn’t even remember what the boy looked like anymore.

The second boy I’d ever slept with, happened a few months after I started working at the bar. His name was Sebastian, and he was only a year younger than me. With brown hair and bright blue eyes, he looked like a shorter, less stellar version of Scott Eastwood.

We saw each other on and off for about three months before I put a stop to it, because I didn’t see a future with him. I had a plan, and it didn’t come as surprise when I realized I didn’t see him in that plan.

The fact that I met him while serving him and his frat buddies drinks should have been enough of a warning. He was part of the fraternities at our school, and I should have known better than to get involve with someone like that.

Sebastian wasn’t the dependable sort. And that was all there was to it. I wasn’t heartbroken over the end of the relationship, if we could even call it that. I had been the one to put an end to it, and the only thing left between us now was a few awkward glances whenever I’d run into him at the school.

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