Page 151 of The Lost and the Found

Hayden

By the timeI got back to Mason and Olivia’s house, it was late, or early morning, however you wanted to look at it, and Mason and Olivia were the proud parents of Emma Mackenzie Kade.

She was the smallest little baby I had ever seen in my life. I had been afraid to hold her. And she had such a hearty scream, as if she wanted the world to know she wouldn’t let anything stop her from being heard.

It was an emotional night, mostly because I got to witness Olivia, Mason, and Max falling in love with Emma firsthand, and I wondered how Logan would be with his child.

I had envisioned a long and happy future with Logan since the moment I stopped fighting us and fully admitted to myself that I loved him. But now…

That had changed, hadn’t it?

Did it make me stupid to want to just forgive and forget?

I didn’t know the answer to that.

Hearing the front door unlock brought me out of my musing, and my eyes widened when a large figure walked through the door.

“Logan. What are you doing here?”

“I tried to stay away, but I can’t. I know I should give you some space, but, baby, it's killing me.”

I shook my head and looked away from him. “You shouldn’t be here. I still don’t know what I’m supposed to do with you.”

“Anything,” he said, the word coming out in a soft sigh. “Anything at all. Can’t you see I am yours to do with as you wish?” I could see him taking small steps toward me. I didn’t move from where I stood.

“Even leave you?” I asked, ignoring the way my voice cracked.

He stumbled in his steps. I looked over to him in time to see his eyes shrouded in pain before he closed them. “Yes. If that’s what you truly want, then yes. I just want for you to be happy.”

“How can you possibly expect me to me happy without you?” I asked, my voice wavering.

His eyes opened, and I didn’t comment on the hope I saw in them then. “I know I fucked up. I know I handled it all wrong, and I don’t have a good enough excuse to give you, only that I saw you, and I couldn’t make myself do it. I couldn’t be the one to shatter your world or be the one to come into it and turn it upside down. The first time I saw you, I saw this scared and angry look in your eyes, and I knew it was at the world, I just didn’t know why, but I wanted to protect you from it. I guess I did a terrible job of it because, in the end, you’re still hurt because of me.”

I shook my head and the tears I tried so hard to contain escaped down my cheeks. Logan took another step toward me, and he looked like he wanted to reach out for me but stopped himself at the last moment. Just like at the hospital.

Was it because he didn’t think I wanted it, or was this his way of gently rejecting me? I didn’t know, and my emotions were making it hard for me to think clearly.

“Do you still love me?” I asked. Because it was hard to contemplate that he could still love me after I walked out on us at the first sign of hardship.

His eyes widened, and he looked horrified that I would even ask that.

“If you’re doubting it, then I haven’t done a very good job as your man to show you otherwise,” he said ferociously.

“Then what are you still doing over there? Why aren’t you holding me in your arms right now?”

He didn’t let me wait another second. I was in his arms before I even finished talking, and I had my face buried in his chest, my tears coming out harder and much more quickly than I was used to.

God, I was so sick of this crying business.

“I’m sorry,” I sobbed into his chest.

“Shh, why are you sorry, baby? I’m the one who should be saying that.”

“I walked out. I walked away from us. I should have stayed and talked to you, or fight with you, but I didn’t, and I caused us a week filled with pain.”

“No, that was necessary. You had to walk out. You needed your space, but I don’t think I can give you any more space now or in the future. Understand?”

I let out a sloppy laugh and nodded into his chest. His arms tightened around me before he pulled me back so he could look into my eyes.

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