Page 17 of The Lost and the Found

I opened the door, shivering slightly from the cold, and ran to my apartment building.

I passed Kenny on my way in. He was hidden behind the door of the apartment building, smoking pot. He let out a low whistle as he took in the Mercedes. “What a ride.”

I didn’t think he knew I had just come out of that “ride,” and I wasn’t going to advertise it. I nodded and he smiled at me, showing off crooked yellow teeth.

“Goodnight, Kenny.”

“’Night, baby girl.”

When I got inside, I turned on all the lights and looked out the window. Sure enough, Logan was still there, his black Mercedes standing out in the broken-down neighborhood I lived in.

It was definitely his car I had been seeing around campus. So the question was, what was he doing there so often?

Logan waited another minute before he pulled away, and when his car was out of my view, I moved away from the window and crashed onto the couch beside it.

My loneliness had never felt as pronounced as it did then.

* * *

Friday,I woke early so I could get started on my homework and hopefully get it done before the weekend was up. Since I worked five nights a week, it was hard to find time to do my homework and keep up with my readings, but I managed.

By the time I took a break, my stomach was growling from hunger, and I realized I had only two hours left before I needed to be at work.

I closed the textbook and placed it on my desk, rubbing my eyes from exhaustion while I went to the kitchen in search for food.

Eating out wasn’t a luxury I could afford, and though I sometimes did when I was at school, I tried to stock my fridge with premade food every week so that I’d always have something to eat. I microwaved a container with chicken and rice and grabbed the blanket off the couch, wrapping it around myself.

The apartment was old, and I didn’t think the heater had been replaced in the past twenty years. It worked, but barely enough to keep the pipes from bursting. I was still cold during the winter.

I hated living here.I hated the weird neighbors with questionable pasts and occupations; I hated the loud booming noises that went off in the middle of the night, waking me up. They sounded an awful lot like gunshots, but I was never brave enough to check or to call it in.

It was saying a lot that Kenny was the only neighbor I could rely on if something were to happen to my apartment. And since I wouldn’t even trust Kenny to keep a cricket alive, I knew how dire my living situation really was.

But moving wasn’t an option. Not with my measly savings. And even then, I was saving up for my future, and I wouldn’t dip into my savings unless there was an actual emergency. Moving in with a roommate was not an option, either. I didn’t trust anyone enough to live with them.

I was stuck.

The microwave beeped to let me know my food was ready, and I grabbed the food and sat down on the sofa, eating my meal in the relative quietness of my apartment, dreading the walk to work.

I thought about Logan’s words the night before. He told me to call him so that he could drive me home. I wondered if that extended to driving me to work as well. But at this point, I wasn’t even sure I would call him tonight.

I didn’t want to be that stupid girl who was fooled by a pretty face. The one who wanted to trust a stranger because she felt a strong attraction to him physically, and she hoped he would be her knight in shining armor.

Something told me Logan’s armor was anything but shiny. Jaded and dirty. Rusted and worn down. Years of mistrust, or perhaps cynicism, might have done it in.

He looked like a cynical man.

And I would know. After all, I wore my cynicism well and for so long, it was all I knew. It kept me alive all these years.

I checked the clock once again when I was done eating. Then I washed the container quickly and went to my room to change.I didn’t have appropriate winter clothes, but I had plenty of sweaters. And scarves.That would hopefully keep me warm on my walk.

As for tonight… I would figure out what I wanted to do when the time came.

* * *

I was just cleaningthe cups from the last customer of the night when the bell chimed. I let out a silent groan. My shoulders, I knew, sagged a little.

How much trouble would I get in if I turned him away?

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