Page 4 of The Lost and the Found

Hayden

I walkedaround campus during my hour-long break.It was usually the only time I had to myself. My day was pretty much packed with school and work.

Finally tired of walking out in the cold, I settled on lunch at one of the pizzerias just off campus and took a seat at one of the available booths. I looked around the empty restaurant as I took a huge sip of my soda.

It was just the way I liked it. The less populated with people it was, the better. When I had the whole place to myself, I was in heaven.

I didn’t remember being so isolated from everything and everyone as a child. But growing up the way that I had, seeing the things I’d seen, it was hard to try and see the good in people. It was hard trying to get close to anyone.

With a good forty minutes until my next class, I pulled out my algebra book and brushed up on some of the problems the professor would no doubt be quizzing us on. Math was not my strong suit, but it was one of those classes everyone was required to take. Being an accounting major meant I had to take more math classes than I’d like, but they were pretty basic—nothing I couldn’t pass.

Just as I opened the book, the door chimed and I let out a small, exaggerated sigh. I knew I didn’t own the place, and I had no right to feel the way I felt, but I hated having to always be on alert whenever someone I didn’t know walk into a room.

It was irrational, and it was also uncontrollable.

I closed the book. No point in going back to it when I knew I wouldn’t be able to focus. Rather, I pulled out my flip phone and set it on the table for the time.

I took a small bite of the pepperoni pizza and tried to be inconspicuous as I glanced over at the man who just walked in.The first thing I noticed was how familiar he looked to me. Not his physical appearance, but the feel of him. I couldn’t exactly explain what that meant, and it sounded ridiculous, even in my head. Especially since I couldn’t see what he looked like, save for the fact that he was a very huge man.

He was in a black suit that fit his large frame well. Short, buzzed brown hair… Oh, God—it was him!

I scooted back into my seat and pretended my heart wasn’t pounding hard in my chest. Who was he? And why did I have the urge to get close to him?

I snuck in another glance at him, thoroughly enjoying the beautiful sight.

He seemed composed and confident—there wasn’t anything restless about him. I envied that about him most. I wished I didn’t feel so on edge all the time.

I watched as Cindy, the girl at the register, stumbled over her words; a flustered mess. I knew the feeling.

He paid and turned around—and even though I tried to prepare myself—I was still left utterly speechless.

I was not one to notice people, no matter how pretty they looked. I knew I looked at the world through cynical eyes. I didn’t have the luxury of being a flustered mess. I did whatever was necessary to survive. So why was my heart beating so fast?

Not only was I shocked that I ran into him twice in one day, but also by the fact that my reaction to him didn’t change the second time. What was it about this particular man? And why did I feel like I might combust when he turned those unnerving hazel eyes toward me?

He was… breathtaking. Any other word I might be able to come up with wouldn’t do him justice. And he was staring at me, his expression unreadable.

His eyes flashed with recognition, and I got the feeling that he knew me. Like, really knew me. But how could that be? I couldn’t remember having seen him before today.

He had golden tan skin I knew wasn’t from a tanning salon or the sun—especially since we were in the middle of winter in Chicago. No, the beautiful golden shade he sported was all genetics. And what great skin it was; not a single mark or a single blemish on his face, as far as I could see.

He had symmetrical features, which I always thought made most people look feminine, but there was nothing soft about him. Even from a distance, I knew he filled out that expensive suit nicely.

He was put together, yet the scruff along his jaw, the wicked smile that I caught him shoot Cindy, and his worldly eyes all said a fun, filthy, good time. What a beautiful contradiction he was.

I was the first to break eye contact, looking down at the table, to my phone.

It was silly, then, when I felt heat rushed to my cheeks. I wished I could put the old phone away.

For the first time in my life, I was genuinely embarrassed about my financial situation, when I had always been nothing but proud. I was never cocky—I knew I had very little compared to others—but I was proud of every single damn cent I had ever made. I went from having a somewhat stable home, to having nothing, to what I had now. And I had every scar to prove just how hard I worked for it. But now, having a man who looked like nothing less than a god staring at me in the way he was, I couldn’t help but feel… inadequate. As if I had done such a poor job of looking after myself, when that man had clearly done so well.

I abruptly grabbed the phone and threw it somewhat harshly against the booth seat. It stayed tucked in a corner. I didn’t bother taking it out. I didn’t look back to the man, either, no matter how much I wanted to.

I ate my pizza in three large bites. Years of having so little to eat had made me thankful for every meal I got. I never threw away food. Not when I worked so hard for the seven dollars I just spent on it.

I could feel the man staring me from across the room. He had taken a seat in the farthest corner and he was looking at me, unabashed beyond reason.

I washed down the pizza with cold soda, and as soon as I finished, I was out of the booth, my backpack in hand. I crossed the threshold just as Cindy brought the plate of pizza over to him, an eager smile on her face. She’s never brought my pizza over to me, I thought bitterly.

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