Page 34 of The Lost and the Found

I was sleep deprived, stressed, and bored with the same routine, and not necessarily in that order. Logan offered something new. Something exciting. Something heartbreaking.

And I was back to square one with him. I hated how I had become one of those girls.

My cracked phone beeped somewhere inside the pocket of my hoodie and I pulled it out.

Speak of the devil…

Logan: What are you doing for lunch today?

Me: Eating, why?

Logan: Would you like to eat with me, Little Miss Smartass?

I grinned at this. I could just imagine him rolling his eyes at my text before he responded. And even though I should tell him no, I realized I didn’t want to. Most of my life had been about doing things for the future. I never gave in to what I wanted, be it material things or even to the way I spent my time. Would it be so bad to have lunch with him?

Me: Meet me at the pizza place.

* * *

I was there before Logan.I was able to leave my second class a bit early because the professor had another meeting across town, so he let us go fifteen minutes before it was supposed to end.

I sat down the booth with my drink, having already ordered, and looked out the window, anticipating Logan’s arrival.

I hadn’t seen him since Tuesday night when he dropped me off, and there was a pull low in my stomach at the thought of having the whole hour of my break with him.

Shaking my head, I looked away. I had it bad.

I stared off into space, my thoughts jumping from one topic to another, never settling on anything.

I got lost in my thoughts often enough, especially when I was alone. Sometimes I imagined things: A different life for a different me or fantasizing about my life ten years from now. In those fantasies, I had my shit together.I had a nice house, a warm bed, and I was so goddamn financially secure, I hardly ever thought of money when I spent it.

It was that fantasy that kept me warm at night and kept me going even when nothing else seemed like it was working.

Yet, in the past two weeks, my fantasy shifted. It was no longer the nice house and warm bed, but a nice house filled with children. And that warm bed was big enough for two, and I didn’t have to go to sleep alone at night.

Logan sat down in front of me, pulling me out of my thoughts. My cheeks warmed a little from the look in his eyes, and I was super glad he couldn’t read minds.

“Hey,” he said. As usual, he was wearing a dark fitted suit, no doubt expensive. But the suit molded to his broad shoulder so nicely, I didn’t care how much it costed. He looked good.

“Hey,” I said back, after an unusually long pause.

His eyes softened as they took me in, and I wondered why I was feeling so shy all of a sudden. “Have you ordered?” he asked.

I nodded. “Yeah. It should be out in a few minutes.”

As if I conjured her simply by saying so, Cindy brought out mine and Logan’s pizza.

“Here you go. Enjoy your meal,” she said, never once glancing my way, not even when she was placing my food down. Her eyes lingered on Logan longer than was necessary, and I knew I had no right to feel possessive over him, but I did. I turned to him to watch his reaction to Cindy, but he never looked at her. His eyes were on me, and I had a feeling they never left.

I didn’t like the knowing glint in them, though, so I schooled my features, looking down at my pizza and taking a bite, trying not to cringe from how hot it was.

Logan blew on his before he took a bite, those unnerving color-changing eyes of his burning spots on my skin. Today, they were more brown than green.

“Do you know she’s never once brought me my food? She usually calls out my ticket number.”

“Is that so?”

“Is that common?” I asked.

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