Page 85 of The Lost and the Found

Hayden

I didn’t knowhow long I had been asleep, only that it didn’t feel long at all. My hair was still damp from the bath.

And I wasn’t alone on the bed. Logan was lying next to me, and I knew he wasn’t asleep. He had one arm wrapped around my waist, his face buried in my neck, and his legs tangled with mine, as if he couldn’t get close enough. I was very aware of my nakedness then, especially since I knew Logan was fully clothed.

“You’re awake.”

I cleared my throat a little before I spoke. “Yeah. How long have I been asleep?”

“Not long. Maybe an hour or so.”

“Oh.”

The silence that followed was deafening.

“I’m sorry—” I began, just as he said, “Hayden—”

We stopped at the same time, and then I felt his fingers on my cheek. I closed my eyes and moved in a little closer to him. “You can go first,” he said.

“I’m sorry. For acting like such a brat and a big baby. I know you were only trying to take care of me.”

My lips trembled as I said this, and I hoped he couldn’t hear it.

“What’s this really about?”

When I said nothing, he moved his thumb to my lower lip, skimming over it. “Talk to me, baby.”

“We’re not on equal grounds.”

“What are you talking about?”

“You—” I stopped and took in a huge breath. “You’re experienced. And put together. You have everything figured out, and you’re more than capable of taking care of yourself and anyone you love. You may have once been a homeless teenager like me, but now you’re doing great. And I bet Veena wants for nothing. I bet you take care of her well.”

“I want to take care of you, too,” he said, his voice so soft it was almost said in a whisper.

I grabbed his hand and played with his fingers. “You do. But that’s not the point. You’ve done so well for yourself, and most days I still feel like I might just lose everything. As little as those things might be compared to all that you have, they’re all I have. And I’ve worked so hard for them. I’m always afraid something might happen and I’d end up back on the streets again.”

I couldn’t even contemplate going back to that time of my life.

“Oh, baby. You know I would never let that happen.”

I wrapped my hand around his thumb. “Now. You wouldn’t let that happen now. But who knows where the future will lead? What if—” My voice cracked and I had to stop. I cleared my throat once more. “What if we don’t make it? You’ll still be you, a hotshot lawyer with the world at his fingertips, and I…”

I would be left with nothing.

Without Logan, I would have nothing.

Because I was in love with him.

How had that happened? How did he make me fall for him so fast, so hard?

“Accepting the car puts us on even more unequal footing. I would be questioning everything we did. When we finally have sex, I’ll wonder if it was because of how grateful I am for the car, for the lavish lifestyle, or because I really want to.” I cupped his cheek, letting my palm run up and down his stubbled jaw. “And it’s not your fault. I know this is my hang-up. I just can’t accept the car. You understand, don’t you?”

He placed his hand on top of mine before pulling it away and tangling our fingers together. “No.”

“What do you mean no?” I tried to pull away, but he wouldn’t let me.

“I mean, no, I won’t accept this. You’re afraid this might end badly, but why can’t we hold onto the hope that we can have a future? For the first time in a long time, I’m looking forward to my future, and it’s all because of you. And I need you to do the same, Hayden. I need you to believe in me—in us.”

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