Page 97 of The Lost and the Found

I pulled my hands away and hid them behind my back.

“I need to go home, Logan.” His brows furrowed, and I hated that I could see how hurt he was over the way I brushed off his comment. I wanted to both soothe him and run away at the same time.

He nodded. “Just let me do a few things first. Can you please eat some breakfast while I do them?”

He pointed to plate on the kitchen island with what looked like a breakfast bagel sandwich. I nodded and grabbed the sandwich, nibbling on it when he walked away.

I was only trying to protect myself when I said I need to be home, so then why did it feel like I’d made everything worse?

* * *

We drove home in silence,and for the first time, there was tension in the car that I didn’t know how to make go away. The drive over to my apartment was made much too quickly, and when Logan pulled over to the curb, my hand hesitated on the door handle.

I turned and took him in.

I broke the silence first, when it didn’t look like he was going to say anything. “I’ll talk to you later.” I grabbed my bag from the floor beneath my feet and climbed out, closing the door behind me. Logan still hadn’t looked at me and, since the windows were tinted, I couldn’t exactly see him from the outside. I waved anyway, feeling like a total loser.

Then I walked, somewhat dejectedly, to my apartment door.

It wasn’t as if Logan had kicked me out. I was the one who insisted he drive me home. I was also the one who ignored his declaration that we were each other’s home.

And all for what?

Because last night, I saw myself in Clarissa’s place, and that scared the hell out of me? Well, now, I got what I wanted. I was home and alone, and I had another twenty hours or so before I had to wake up and get myself ready for school.

Where I would continue on with my plan.

But would this be with or without Logan?

* * *

I stayed home all day,catching up on my schoolwork, and at eight o’clock, I closed my textbook and felt a sense of accomplishment. For the first time in a very long time, I was ahead in all of readings and my writing assignments.

For the next two weeks, the only thing I needed to worry about was a big project in my Advanced Managerial Accounting class that wasn’t due until April. It was my toughest class for this semester, but I was passing.

I had spring break coming up before that, which would give me some much-needed time to get ahead on that project.

The reminder of the break brought on a bout of sadness over me. My mom loved the days I was off from school. I knew most parents dreaded those breaks, but my mom always had something planned for us. Despite the long hours she worked, she always made time for me.

If Logan and I stayed together, would he have something planned for us over spring break? Or was I getting ahead of myself? Maybe we wouldn’t even last that long…

I looked down at the intricate pattern on my textbook cover, tracing the lines with my index finger while I thought of Logan. He was probably on his way home from work right now.

He hadn’t texted me all day, and I hadn’t texted him either.

And I didn’t know if this was us fighting, or if this was us breaking up.

I was still so angry at him about the whole Clarissa fiasco, and scared, too. But I didn’t want to break up.

I may not want to end up like her, but that didn’t mean I wanted to give up on us before I got in too deep.

A voice in my head whispered that it was already too late for that.

I was already in deep.

I stood up with a huff, not liking the direction of my thinking, and walked to the kitchen for some dinner. I hadn’t been away from my apartment that long, so I was sure some of the food I had premade the week before was still good.

I was debating between a chicken alfredo pasta or rice and chicken dinner when a knock came at my door. My heart soared with hope that it was Logan, and I already had an apology on the tip of my tongue when I opened the door. To my disappointment, it wasn’t Logan on the other side, but Kenny.

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