Page 156 of Stolen Fate

Evelyn

Everything wasquiet around the house when I got back.

It was late, and I wondered if Elliot had asked about me today. I had spent most of it in coffee shops, and when I couldn’t drink any more coffee, I went to a movie theater and spent the majority of my time there. I sat in the same theater and watched the same movie three times, before they closed down and I was forced to go home.

I couldn’t even remember the name of the movie.

I knew Jace wasn’t asleep yet, though I wasn’t really sure what he was doing right now. The last I had heard, he had been in his office, probably trying to give me some space to think.

And I needed that.

I needed the time away from him to think, because I didn’t know what the hell I was supposed to think, or how I was supposed to feel.

Was I supposed to be ecstatic that I finally found him? Angry that Jace had kept something this big from me? The fact that he had me investigated for months before we met?

Or was I supposed to be grateful that Jace had brought Elliot and me back together again. That he found me out for Elliot’s sake and brought me into his life?

I supposed I was feeling all of those things, and I wondered if my feelings for Jace about everything were so messed up that our relationship could never be the same. I might have been grateful he brought me into Elliot’s life, but was I past forgiving him for keeping something like this from me for so long? Didn’t I deserve to know that Elliot was my son?

I walked to Elliot’s room and opened the door quietly. His night light was on, and it was enough for me to make out his sleeping face. His unruly hair was laying on top of his head in a mass of dark strands. I moved some of it away from his face.

He was smiling in his sleep.

And I could see it now.

I could see my face in his.

He had my smile.

He had Emilia’s smile… my dad’s smile.

Though he looked like Jace, he also looked like me.

“My baby,” I whispered, tears springing to my eyes. “I can’t believe I got to hold you.”

I hadn’t gotten the chance to hold him before.

I leaned down and kissed his chubby cheeks, loving the way he smelled. A noise at the door had me straightening my back, and when I looked over to it, I found Jace there, his hands in his pocket.

“Can I come in?” he asked in a stilted voice. I had never heard him speak like that before. I didn’t like it. It didn’t suit him well.

I nodded and watched as he moved further into the room and took a seat in the rocking chair. We faced each other but didn’t say anything for a long time.

I waited for him to speak first. To tell me why he did it, why he kept it from me for so long. I could understand keeping it from me at the beginning, when he didn’t know who or what kind of person I was, but after…

After I agreed to be his. After he took me to his bed and after he had held onto me so closely it almost felt like he loved me. Was it all nothing but lies?

“I know I should probably say something, anything, to make you forgive me for keeping this from you, but I don’t have a good enough reason for you,” he began. I let out a small sigh, briefly meeting his eyes before looking away, back to Elliot.

He looked infinitely smaller and fragile lying in his bed then. All I wanted to do was gather him up in my arms and promise nothing would ever hurt him as long as I was around.

But would I be around?

Would Jace let me stay in his life? Why do all of this, why let me meet Elliot and let me fall in love with him if there was a real possibility that I might not be around to watch him grow up?

Jace made a strangled noise then, before he moved over to me. He pulled me into his arms and sat down on the floor with me on his lap. Gently, he took his hand and wiped away my tears. I didn’t even know I was crying.

“Don’t do this, baby. Don’t cry. I’m so sorry. I’m so fucking sorry. I should have told you before we started, but every time I opened my mouth, the words got stuck in my throat and I didn’t know how to say it.”

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