It had everything to do with her.
I shouldn’t have taken her back to the hotel with me. I didn’t even know what I had been doing in that bar that night, only I had wanted to know how she was faring that day, so I followed her. I was supposed to stay in the background, but then she singled me out of all the men in that bar, and yes, it had felt like I’d won the lottery.
I could still remember when she smiled at me, and how I could clearly see the sadness in her eyes.
I wanted to make that look go away. So when she looked at me expectantly, I went against my good sense and took her back to the hotel room.
And she went and turned my world upside down.
The door clicked open and Elliot ran in first, his lips curving into a wide smile so infectious, I couldn’t help but mirror his expression.
“Daddy!” he yelled, jumping onto my lap.
I laughed and scooted the chair back so he wouldn’t hit the desk on his way up, wrapping my arms around his tiny body.
There would come a time when he would stop calling me daddy and stop seeking my touch and protection. He would want to be independent, be his own man, but until that day came, I was enjoying every moment of him being a kid.
I would never take a moment with him for granted, especially now, when he seemed to grow every time I so much as blink. Elliot was so tiny when he first came to me. So different from Elijah, who had been born with a healthy scream to let the world know that he was here. Elliot was quiet and gentle, and very shy.
And no, I didn’t see him as a replacement for Elijah, but as a second chance to do this right. As always, my heart hurt from remembering Elijah, but I found the pain to be bearable over these past five years.
I wouldn’t stop remembering Elijah just because it hurt me. My first son deserved more than that. But I wasn’t going to neglect Elliot in order to honor Elijah’s memory either.
“How was your day?” I asked.
“It was awesome! We went to the park, and then to this place, called… something, but it was real big, Daddy, and I, I made a flying machine that looked like a rocket, and we put it in this thing and the rocket went shoom!” he said excitedly, and I nodded along, though I couldn’t quite figure out what the sound effect was supposed to be.
I looked over to Evelyn for help. She smiled indulgently at Elliot. “I took him to the Children’s Museum. There was a ‘Build It, Fly It’ exhibit where you could make a flying machine and launch it through a tube to watch it fly above you. Elliot built a red rocket.”
“Ah, I see. So, you had fun, huh?”
Elliot nodded. “Yes, I did. We even had ice cream, and guess what, Daddy?”
“What?”
“Evelyn likes vanilla. Like you.” He scrunched his face up. “That’s so boring.”
I chuckled at that. “She does, huh? She has great taste then.”
Elliot rolled his eyes. “Nuh-uh. But don’t worry, I let her try my ice cream. She liked it, too.”
I shook my head and smiled just as the intercom buzzed again. “Mr. Reed, your lunch is here. Would you like me to bring it in for you?”
“Yes, that would be great, Belinda. Thank you.”
“What time would you like me to come back, Jace?” Evelyn asked.
I frowned at her. “Where are you going?”
She matched my expression. “To lunch. I assumed you’d want to have lunch with Elliot alone?”
I probably should have let her go. It would have been better if I kept my distance, yet the thought of her leaving, even for an hour, didn’t sit right with me. I wanted her close, and for reasons that had nothing to do with Elliot.
I was a fucking bastard.
“Don’t be silly. I bought enough for all of us. I would love it if you’d join us,” I said quietly.
“Yeah, Evelyn. Come eat.” Elliot jumped off my lap and moved to Evelyn, tugging on her hand. I could see they’d already gotten close in just a few short hours. It was good. I needed to know what kind of person Evelyn was, and she was proving my assumption correct—that she was good and kind.