Page 21 of Carved in Ice (Made of Steel 3)

“That doesn’t mean you end up with him.” There was venom in his voice.

“I don’t see why you care.”

“You’re mine, Sadie.”

The way he said it made my heart race. “To hate?”

“Just until I’m able to love every part of you again. The space between us doesn’t have to be the way it has been. I’ll show you tonight. I’ll give you whatever you need. Don’t go running back to Eli. I just need more time.”

“To fall back in love with me? I don’t even know who you are.”

“We’re not running out of time anymore. You’ll find out when we’re both ready. Besides, if I recall correctly, you love when I fuck you.” He released me from his grip and walked away in the snow.

I didn’t want to be hated. I wanted to be loved. He couldn’t have been more wrong. So why hadn’t I corrected him?

Chapter 10

Monday

I pulled on a different pair of pajama bottoms. No. I ditched all my clothes, pulled on a silk robe instead, and stared in the mirror. This was so stupid. It didn’t matter what I wore. What mattered was who I went to. I sat down on the edge of my bed and put my face in my hands.

Eli loved me. V hated me. What was I even debating? Yet, I couldn’t make myself leave my room. It was tempting to just lock the door and not decide at all.

“It’s like his heart thawed.” Dr. Miller’s words came back to me. Why had V’s heart needed to thaw in the first place? All I could think about were the different foster kids I had lived with. V must have been a boy I used to know. Was he one of them?

But none of them stood out in my head as liking me. Let alone hating me. I was never chosen at any of the foster homes for adoption. There couldn’t be resentment there. I was missing something. Maybe he was older than I realized. I needed to talk to him again in order to figure it out.

I stood up and wandered into the hall. For just a moment, I hesitated in front of V’s door. Yes I needed to talk to him. But that wasn’t what he was offering me. And I definitely wouldn’t find any comfort in V’s arms. It used to feel like he was absorbing my pain, like he truly was a superhero and that was his power. But I knew he didn’t have any powers. My pain went away when I was with him because he understood it. And I didn’t want to be with someone who understood my pain.

I wanted someone who was able to rid me of my pain completely. Someone good. Someone happy. Someone who made me feel normal. I could talk to V in the morning. Nothing good would happen if I stepped into his room. I kept walking down the hall and opened up Eli’s door.

He set down the book he was reading. “I wasn’t sure if you were coming.”

“Where else would I go?”

He stood up and walked over to me. “V left shortly after you did. I was trying to give you some space, but…I figured he might have gone to talk to you.”

I hadn’t moved from his doorway.

Eli stopped walking when he was right in front of me. “I thought he might try to convince you to be with him again.” Hi

s words were so honest. And I could feel his hesitancy.

Did he think I was here to say goodbye? “So you wanted to see what I’d do? You could have just come after me too.” I smiled up at him.

“I needed to know. I don’t want to share your heart with V and Miles. I want you all to myself. Because despite what you think, I love all of you. Every single piece of you.”

I blinked away the tears in my eyes. “V did try to get me to choose him.” I closed the door behind me and locked it. The sound of the lock clicking echoed around the small room. “And he failed.”

“Is that so?”

Eli was so close that I could smell the citrus on his skin. It reminded me of summer and sunshine. I was choosing to live in the light, and I didn’t doubt my choice for a second. “I love you, Eli. And only you.” I undid the sash on my robe and let it fall open. “Every single piece of…”

His lips colliding with mine drowned out my words. I pushed up his t-shirt, letting my fingers wander over his six pack. He grabbed his shirt and pulled it the rest of the way off before grabbing my thighs and lifting my legs around his waist. He was about to carry me over to his bed, but I grabbed the doorknob. I didn’t want that. I wanted him right this second. “I want you right here.”

“I’ll always give you whatever you want.”

I kissed the side of his neck and listened to the sound of his zipper. And the sound of foil ripping.

---