Page 48 of Carved in Ice (Made of Steel 3)

I laughed. “You know what I mean,” I said. I know it’s not technically history. I put history in air quotes. Just tell me your number.”

“Zero?”

No one? Seriously? “Is that a question or a fact?”

“It’s zero.” She took a huge sip from her bottle and turned to me. “That’s bad, right? No one wants to sleep with a virgin. And I’m not just a virgin. I’ve never even kissed a boy. Let alone given him my flower.”

Her flower? Really? She was so naïve. Or maybe I was just bitter. Because I never got to give anyone mine. It got taken from me. “Don’t call it your flower, that makes it sound creepy.”

“Oh. Okay.”

“You’ve really never had sex, Liza?”

“No.” She pushed her glasses up her nose. “I knew it was bad. What 23 year old has never had sex?!” She pressed her lips firmly closed and looked behind her down the hall. “God, do you think he heard me?”

“Who? V?”

“Who else?” She lifted up a pillow and put it over her face. She started talking into the pillow, but her voice was so muffled that I couldn’t even hear her.

“Liza.” I grabbed the pillow and yanked it down from her face. “You shouldn’t be embarrassed. Honestly I still wish I had my…flower.” I tried not to cringe at the word. It was laced with such innocence that it made me feel sick to my stomach. Nothing about my first time had been innocent. But I did mean what I said. I wished I was still a virgin.

“Really?”

“Yes, really. I never got the chance to choose, you know. And I always had one person in mind.” I pictured Miles’ face and tried my best to squash down the feelings threatening to emerge.

“I want to give V my flower. Desperately.” She hugged the pillow to her chest.

“V? I feel like you should choose someone who’s comfortable enough to let you see his face.”

“V doesn’t wear a mask because he’s uncomfortable with himself. He wears it because he’s uncomfortable around you. But I know him really well. He’s sweet and caring and…”

“And cruel.”

“No, not at all. He’s one of the nicest people I’ve ever met. And he cares so fiercely for those in his life.”

“He doesn’t care about Eli," I said. "V hasn’t visited him in the hospital. He hasn’t let me leave the apartment to go visit him either.”

“That’s not true, V has visited Eli.”

“What?”

“He came last night after all the nurses left for the evening. Eli was sleeping, but he sat with us. I’m telling you, Summer, V is a stand-up guy.”

He was nice to everyone but me. Was it really because he was uncomfortable around me? There were more reasons why Liza shouldn’t sleep with him. The most important being that V confessed that he loved me a couple nights ago. But I didn’t want her to know that. We were just starting to get along. “Liza, I really think you could find someone sweeter.”

“Like Eli? He really is the best. No one’s ever listened to me like Eli does. He doesn’t grow impatient with me or anything or call me names. We’ve had such nice conversations about life the past few days. What we’ll do after this whole thing is over and everything. It’s easy to talk to him because he’s not still in the college scene like some people I know.” She smiled at me and then took a sip from her drink. “But girl, haven’t you heard? He’s taken! My bffl just got engaged to him.” She looked down at my hand even though I'd already told her we weren’t actually engaged.

I laughed. “Seriously, we’re not engaged.”

“Did you talk about getting engaged?”

“Yes, but…”

“Did you talk about the future?”

r /> “Yeah, but that doesn’t…”

“Do you want to marry him?”

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