Miles didn’t know? Miles had no idea who I was! He just thought Sadie disappeared. And why would he care about Sadie? I had always acted like a complete lunatic around him. He didn’t know who I even was. Which meant he hadn’t necessarily given up on me. The only thing that mattered was that he didn’t stop looking for Summer.
It felt like my heart started beating again. And then it cracked a little more when I thought about Eli. And then it exploded into fire when I looked at V. “If Miles never saw this letter, then why was it opened?”
“Because I read it. I needed to know why you’d never love me back.”
“It wasn’t addressed to you.”
He took step toward me. “And you promised all of us that you’d stop seeing him. And you definitely promised to keep your identity a secret.”
“When did you read it?” I asked, ignoring him.
“As soon as I found it. While you were busy on the roof.”
I thought about how cold V had been to me the past few months. He had read my letter to Miles. He knew I had slept with Miles. He knew everything. Yet he still said he loved me before he thought we were going to die. Because his feelings were that strong. And when reality came crashing down? He realized that loving me was a waste of time. Because my heart belonged to Miles.
“You knew about this for months and didn’t tell me?” It was like he was trying to rob me of my happiness. I looked around the apartment. Like he was trying to keep me locked up so I couldn’t go to anyone else. “You’re insane.”
“I needed more time with you.”
“Time? You’ve been so cold to me. If you wanted more time you should have utilized it a little better.”
He put one of his elbows on the counter. It bothered me how casual he looked.
“Like how you’ve been utilizing your time with Eli?” he asked. “I never wanted to lie to you. I was waiting for you to realize that it was us written in the stars, not you and Miles. Because you’re not Summer Brooks anymore. You’re not. You were supposed to forget about him.”
“And you thought that it would help if I thought he had forgotten about me?”
“I thought it wouldn’t hurt. But clearly I was wrong because you love leaving a trail of broken hearts in your wake.”
“That’s a little dramatic…”
“Is it? I’ve only ever loved you. And I’ll only ever love you. Even when you're completely blind to your own feelings.”
“What?” Liza croaked from the entrance to the kitchen.
Shit. “It’s nothing, Liza. V’s just completely lost his mind.”
She looked so hurt. It was like reliving the moment when Kins saw me almost kiss Miles. And I hated that I was just on an unending loop of hurting people. Leaving a trail of broken hearts in my wake.
“I’m going to go visit Eli,” Liza said and backed out of the kitchen before I could say anything else.
“You just broke her heart," I said to V. "So don’t you dare pretend that you haven’t hurt anyone.” I grabbed the letter and necklace off the counter and followed Liza.
“At least I never pretended to reciprocate her feelings like you did with me,” he said to my back. “And you’re free to leave the apartment now. But don’t come crawling back to me when nothing is as it seems.”
I ignored his haunting words. He was manipulative. He was insane. And I hated that maybe he was just a tiny bit right about me.
Chapter 24
Monday
I leaned against the wall outside my old dorm building. I didn’t know why I was here. The first thing I should have done with my new freedom was go to Eli. Yet, here I was. I wasn’t worried about anyone recognizing me. I hadn’t exactly made a bunch of friends on my floor. But I still kept my knit hat pulled low. My face was plastered on news stations. And V was right, my hair wasn’t fooling anyone.
It was late. I’d be lucky if someone came in or out so I could slip in. And I wasn’t even entirely sure that I wanted to talk to Miles. He had been laughing and flirting with that blonde girl on move-in day. I hadn’t imagined that. Just because he didn’t read my letter didn’t mean he didn’t know the truth. I mean, I literally just thought about my hair not fooling anyone. Miles still could have known and he still could have moved on. Showing up here was insane. Right?
I pulled out the letter from my pocket and unfolded it. I barel
y remembered what I had even written. Some days I even wished that I had died that night. That everything had ended. That my whole body was no longer filled with pain. I closed my eyes for a moment and took a deep breath. I felt like my whole body was worn to the bone. Like I was approaching 80 instead of 19. Like I was frail. I opened my eyes and read the letter.