Page 69 of Carved in Ice (Made of Steel 3)

“You know how it feels to be abandoned. Why would you do that to me?”

Abandonment was the only feeling I knew. And he was completely right. Why the hell would I leave him when he needed me most?

“I’ve always been there when you needed me,” he said as he looked down at his hands.

“I know. I…”

“If you loved me you would have found a way to come.” He had laughed just a minute ago and now it looked like he was about to cry.

My feet finally moved. I grabbed his hand and crouched down next to his bed. “I do love you. I tried everything.”

“Can we just be honest with each other for one minute?” He still didn’t look at me.

“I am being honest, Eli. When you got hurt, I couldn’t eat or sleep. I cried until I was dehydrated. And I did ask Liza about you all the time, but it was hard for me to hear the specifics knowing that I couldn’t be here with you. I just kept asking if you were okay. And as soon as I could be here I was.” I squeezed his hand. “I’m here now and I’m not going anywhere.”

He pulled his hand away. “V called me four hours ago saying you were coming.”

Shit.

“Or was it three?” He stared at the clock on the wall. “I don’t remember. It was a long time ago. So where did you go? What was so important that you couldn’t come here first?”

“Nothing.” I exhaled slowly when he looked at the ceiling, still avoiding my gaze. “Eli, I was just upset. You have to believe me. V showed me this letter that I had left for Miles before the explosion and it just messed with my head.”

“He finally told you?” He turned back toward me and he was smiling again. “I didn’t think he had the balls. Well, I guess that’s the end of that.”

The end of what? I laughed because I didn’t know how else to respond. Eli was acting so strange. “You knew about the letter?”

“I’m a detective.” He laughed too. “Of course I knew. I knew all of it.”

I wasn’t going to ask him why he didn’t tell me. This conversation was already strained. But he was smiling now. I looked up at the bags attached to his IV. There was morphine in one of them. I turned back to him. There was no reason to press him about the letter to Miles. It was V’s secret to tell me, not Eli’s. He was just being a good friend. And I loved him for that. “So that was why it took me so long to come tonight. V dropped a bomb on me and I just needed time to process the information.”

“And?”

“And…now I’ve processed it.”

He searched my face.

“I was mad of course. I think he thought it would bring us closer together or something. But he’s a complete lunatic. How could he keep something like that from me for months? And here I thought that Miles had left me again. He made me feel so…” I let my voice trail off. Abandoned. The same way that I had made Eli feel.

“And now that you know the truth, you two can finally be happy.”

“What? I’m here. I don’t want to be with Miles. I just want you.”

“You don’t, Summer. We both know that you don’t. Or else it wouldn’t have taken you so long to come here tonight. I think a part of me did die when I got shot. Because I knew he was close to telling you. I knew that being apart would give him time to weasel his way back into your life. I knew and…there was nothing I could do about it. It’s okay really. We had a good run.” He reached out with his hand and lightly tapped my chin with his fist. Like I was a child that just needed to cheer up. What was wrong with him tonight?

“Why are you giving up on us? You said you wanted it all with me. You said you could picture raising a family. That you didn’t care that I couldn’t have children of my own. That…”

“That was a dream. My dream. But it was never yours. Go be with Miles. It was always him. Get.” He shooed me away.

“I can’t. I don’t know even where he is.”

“See. You didn’t say you didn’t want to. I always knew when he finally told you who he was that you’d run back to him. You love me but you were never in love with me. Not the way you are with him.”

Running back to who? What was he talking about? “Are you talking about V now? He didn’t tell me who he was.”

“But you just said that he…” his voice trailed off. He immediately cleared his throat and then started laughing. “Oh shit. He’s going to kill me. Oh well. The cat is out of the bag. Or I guess…the man is out of the mask? I don’t know. Do you think you could get a nurse to get me some Jell-O? I’m hungry.”

“Eli, do you know who V is?”

---