Page 84 of Carved in Ice (Made of Steel 3)

The driver scrunched down in his seat a little, but kept driving.

“I said we didn’t do that,” Liza said and tapped the cab driver’s seat. “We definitely didn’t do that. Don’t tell anyone we did that.”

“I’m not going to say a word,” he said. “I swear.”

“Good.” She laughed and clapped her hands together. “I wish there was a sunroof in this thing. I’d stick my head out and scream at the top of my lungs. That was so exhilarating! I can’t wait to do that again!”

I didn’t feel exhilarated. I touched my neck where Don’s hands had been. I was still breathing. My heart was sti

ll beating. I was alive. And I desperately wished that I wasn’t.

How could I go back to our apartment without Miles there? This wasn’t right. None of it. One of the last things I had said to him was that I wanted to be with Eli. Because Eli was filled with light.

Yet, I was the one that had pulled Miles into the darkness. He became V for me. It was my fault that he was dead. And all I wanted was to take his place. I’d give up my breaths, my heartbeats, my life in a second and give it all to him.

“I’m too young to die,” Kins said. “Are shivs a real thing? Am I going to need to learn how to make one? I barely know how to sharpen a pencil. I always use mechanical ones. Or pens. Can you make a shiv out of a pen?”

“Snap out of it,” Liza said. “Tell your friend to get a grip,” she said to me.

I barely even heard them.

“Summer?”

“Summer, are you okay?” Kins asked.

I looked up. They were both staring at me with concern etched across their face. I shook my head. “No.” Tears started streaming down my face. “I’m not okay.”

Kins pulled my head down on her shoulder and patted my hair.

Liza reached over and squeezed my knee. “Everything’s going to be fine. We’ll be home soon.”

But she was wrong. I’d never be home again. Because Miles had always been home to me.

Chapter 37

Tuesday

“Drink this,” Liza said and handed me a glass filled with an amber liquid. “It’ll make you feel better.”

Nothing was going to make me feel better. But I drank it anyway. I immediately coughed. For some reason I thought it was some magic elixir to take away my heartache. But it was just whiskey.

She smiled and sat down next to me. “Now tell us what happened in that room.”

I shook my head and handed her the glass back. There was nothing to say. I had squandered the best opportunity I had ever had.

Liza snapped her fingers. “Refill!” She tossed the glass at Kins.

The glass almost fell as Kins struggled to catch it. “A heads up would have been nice.” She grabbed the bottle off the coffee table and handed me the whole thing instead of a glass. “Careful with that, a little goes a long way.”

Nothing would ever be enough to numb the ache.

Liza tilted the bottle up to my mouth.

I just wanted to die. I wanted to be with my parents again. With Miles. Miles. I lifted the bottle up to my mouth and took a huge sip. And another. And another.

“Okay, that’s enough liquid painkillers.” Kins snatched the bottle back. “Summer, you have to tell us what happened.”

“Did he…” Liza’s voice trailed off. She pushed her glasses up the bridge of her nose and looked away from me. “I was looking up rape kits online and if we could get a sample of his…”

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