Page 110 of Playing a Player (Sweet Cravings 1)

"I can't trust you."

He didn't say anything. He watched me as I retreated into my bedroom. As soon as I closed my door, I collapsed onto the floor and started crying. He was a coward. He didn't love me. And I didn't love him. He was right. How could anyone love someone like him?

I started to cry even harder. Because that was a lie. I loved him more than I realized I could love someone else. But I couldn't forgive him for this. Even if he was telling the truth, it didn't matter. Whatever he had done with Tiffany Five Stars was probably just as bad as cheating. And he was keeping something from me. He had asked me to trust him. I would never be able to trust him. How could I possibly love someone that I didn't trust?

I heard something crash outside my door. It sounded like Rory had thrown the Nerf gun against the wall. I heard the front door open and close. And my gut told me that he was going out again. To cheat again. But this time it wouldn't really be cheating. I had just broken up with him. And evicted him. I put my face in my hands.

Is that why he kept saying he hadn't cheated? He had technically broken up with me before he stormed out last night. Maybe that didn't count. But it still hurt. I couldn't forgive him. I had just told him I loved him and he walked out on me and hooked up with a prostitute. I'd never forgive him for that. I thought he was sweet and kind and charming. But he was just like every guy I had ever met. He was a complete asshole. If I had given him a chance to talk, I'm sure it would have ending with him saying, "It's not you, it's me."

A part of me thought I was fixing him. Maybe it was because Connor and Jackson had said that to me. I thought he didn't want to be a player anymore. It seemed like he wanted to settle down. But the other night he had told me that people don't change. I was trying to change him. He didn't want to be changed. He couldn't change. I would never be enough for someone like him.

I leaned my back against my bedroom door and hugged my knees into my chest. In the end it didn't really matter. I thought being with him would make me happy. But I wouldn't have been happy down the road. I wanted to get married. I wanted children. I wanted all those things that he said he wasn't ready for and may never want. It was better that we ended it before it got any more serious. Every logical part of my brain was telling me that he wasn't good for me. So why did I miss him right now? Why did it physically hurt me to know that he was hurting? I put my chin on top of my knee. I thought he was the broken one, but maybe it was me.

I needed to call Emily. I stood up and opened my bedroom door. I walked into the living room and grabbed my phone off the coffee table. The Nerf gun I had been shooting Rory with was cracked in half, laying underneath the dartboard. There were shards of plastic scattered around it. I could add anger issues to all the reasons why I shouldn't be with him. I pressed on Emily's name and held the phone to my ear as I went back into my room.

After ringing several times, the call went to voicemail. Maybe she was still at work.

"Hey, Em. It's me. Rory came home." I sat down on the edge of my bed. "I ended it. Actually I kicked him out." I put my hand on my forehead. "I really need to talk to you. He cheated on me. So why does it feel like breaking up with him was a mistake? Please call me." I hung up and looked down at the screen. It was past 6:30. She should have been off by now. Why hadn't she answered my call?

My phone buzzed while I looked down at it. It was a text from Rory. I swiped my finger across the screen.

"I left okay? I know you need some space. And I can see how you may have misunderstood that text. But we need to talk about this. Let me take you out to dinner tonight."

Did that mean he canceled his plans with Jamie and Tiffany? That didn't make me feel any better. I couldn't be bought with a fancy dinner. But maybe I needed to hear him out. If he was willing to tell me what he was doing last night, maybe we could work this out. If. It really didn't seem like he was though. And the only reason I could think of was because he had in fact cheated on me. My phone buzzed again.

"I'm friends with the chef of this really nice restaurant a few blocks away from our place. He was able to get us on the list for tonight. I'll pick you up at 8."

That cocky bastard. I opened up my computer and pulled up Craigslist. I quickly typed out an ad about the empty room in the apartment. At the end I added, "men need not apply," in all caps. Perfect. I pressed the submit button. The sooner I found someone to move into Rory's room, the sooner I could move on.

I sighed and slammed my laptop closed. I didn't want to forget about him. I never wanted to forget the way he looked at me or the way he made me feel. But it all came down to trust. I could never trust him. Rory was a player. And he'd always be a player. I picked up my phone and quickly typed out a response to him.

"I'm interviewing potential new roommates tomorrow. Please let me know when you want to come pick up your stuff so I can make plans to not be around." I pressed send.

I needed a fresh start. In a lot of ways Rory was amazing. I couldn't deny that. But he wasn't my future. It was like he said. I wanted to be happy in the future. That was the ultimate goal. I didn't want to be constantly worried that I wasn't good enough for him or that he was out hooking up with someone else. And the worst part was, he knew how it felt to be on the other side of this. His ex had cheated on him. Why would he do this to me?

My phone started buzzing. It was Rory. I just stared down at the screen. I didn't have anything to say to him. When it finally stopped buzzing I slowly exhaled. A minute later my phone beeped. He had left a voicemail.

"Keira." There was a pause. "Screw the restaurant then. Let's just go somewhere. Let's take a vacation. Just you and me. Wherever you want. I'll take you wherever you want to go. Let's go to Italy. You'll love it there." He sighed. "Please call me back."

What? I lay down on my bed. What is he doing? I didn't want to go to Italy with him. He'd probably see one beautiful girl with long black hair and tan skin and run off with her. Stupid Italy.

I tried to call Emily again, but it went straight to her voicemail this time. I stared at the ceiling. My life had seemed so full this morning. And now I had never felt more alone. I hadn't just lost Rory. Connor and Jackson had basically been living here too. They had become two of my closest friends. Connor had somehow become one of my closest confidants.

I picked up my phone and found Julie's number. If I couldn't fix my own relationship, maybe I could fix things for Connor. It was the least I could do after he had tried so hard to help me.

The phone rang

"Hi, Keira." Her voice sounded slightly cold.

Deservedly. "Hey, Julie!" I said with as much cheer as I could muster. "Connor told me how much fun he had with you the other night."

Julie laughed. "Yeah, I don't think so, Keira. He hasn't even texted me."

"He told me that he really likes you."

"Was that after he ran after you and left me alone in your apartment?"

"Um...yes."

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