Page 46 of Those Summer Nights (Sweet Cravings 2)

My lifeguard's hand must have dipped below my shirt while we were sleeping and I could feel his palm pressed against the skin right below my bra. His hands were rough and I liked how his skin felt against mine. I didn't want to move at all. I wanted to stay in this moment forever. As soon as one of us moved, the perfection would be over. I slowly opened my eyes and strained to see his shorts right by my head. This was no normal snuggling session. It was a very inappropriately sexualized snuggle fest. This was 100 percent not the way it would feel like to snuggle with Swatch from Project Runway. I had it all wrong at the beginning of summer. No offense, Swatch.

Every time he breathed, my head moved slightly up and down. I stared at his legs and feet. How was even this part of him so sexy? I bit my lip. It was hard not to reach out and touch him. Since when had touching leg hair climbed so high on my bucket list? Stay still.

My lifeguard groaned and I quickly closed my eyes again. His breathing no longer sounded shallow. I felt him shift below me. He was definitely awake. His hand slowly moved down my torso and his fingers traced right above the waistline of my shorts. He thinks I'm still asleep. His hand slid to the small of my back and his fingers traced up my spine. The way he was touching me made my whole body tingle. With his other hand, he ran his fingers through my hair.

He was staring at me the way I’d just been staring at him. There was something vindicating about that. It also made me feel less weird for pretending to be asleep. Our friendship was completely whack.

I heard a door open and close.

"Hey," someone whispered. It sounded like Logan. "Our shift starts in 20."

No!

"Okay," my lifeguard whispered back. He ran his fingers through my hair once more and pulled my shirt back down my torso. "Hey, Mila?" He put his hand on my shoulder, all innocently, like his hand hadn’t just been up my shirt.

I rolled onto my back and looked up at him. "You're handsome in the morning." I put my arm over my face. Why did I just say that? Our skin touching had forced the butterflies back into my brain.

My lifeguard laughed. "I have to be at the beach soon and I need to take a shower. Do you want to wait and I'll walk you home on my way to work?"

I took one last moment to savor having my head on his lap and slowly sat up. "No, that's okay. I'll see you at the beach later?"

"I'll be there." He smiled at me and got up off the couch.

I stood up too. I suddenly felt extremely awkward. It seemed like I should at least hug him goodbye. That would be a very normal thing to do. So of course, I to

ok a step back instead. Smooth.

He rubbed the back of his neck with his hand.

"Okay, see you later," I said and started toward the door. Before I walked out, I turned around. His hands were in his pockets and he was staring at me. Did he feel it too? It felt like my heart was beating in my throat. I quickly left his apartment.

***

I was sitting on my bed cross-legged holding my phone. Aiden had just texted me. This was the first time I had heard from him since he broke up with me. I don't know how many times I had called him and texted him last semester. He always ignored me. Every single time. Like I was a ghost. Like I never meant anything to him.

I looked down at his text. He said he hoped I was having a good summer. The only reason it was good was because he wasn’t in it. If he had never broken up with me, I may have stayed with him for the rest of my life. The thought was chilling. I would have never come here for the summer and never met my lifeguard. That was the hardest part to swallow. This was the best summer of my life. I had thought my world ended when I walked in on Aiden and that slut. But I truly felt like I was exactly where I needed to be. Having felt what it was like to lose love had somehow made me open to finding a better love.

I didn't need the summer to find myself. I felt more like myself here than I ever had in California. And my lifeguard was who had fixed me. He held the cure to whatever problem I had. I knew he was keeping his distance because he respected me and I was going back to California at the end of summer. But I wanted it to be more. I didn't want to miss out on my chance with him.

I looked back down at Aiden’s text. A few weeks ago I would have been ecstatic that I had finally heard from him. But he was probably only texting me because he needed something. I no longer cared about his needs. I wanted nothing to do with him. For some reason this was the closure that I had been longing for. I was done thinking about him. Fuck him. I couldn't believe I had wasted so many months wallowing. Losing him wasn't a loss at all. He was an asshole. How could I have not seen it before? I kept thinking I had done something wrong. I kept blaming myself. But it wasn't my fault. He was just a shitty human being. A complete and utter goober butt. I rolled my eyes at myself, wishing my name calling was more on point.

The apartment door opened and Kristen walked in wearing spandex shorts and a sports bra. “Hey, where were you last night?” She wiped the sweat off her forehead with the back of her hand.

I couldn’t help the smile that spread across my face. “I’ll give you two guesses.”

“I only need one.” She pulled a water bottle out of the fridge. “You broke your dick diet and went to town on J.J.’s dick.”

“No. Well…no. It’s a no. I was with J.J., yes, but we were just hanging out as friends. But…I think I’m ready for more than that. I’m pretty sure he is too. And I think I’m ready to tell him exactly what I want. Which is him, in case that wasn’t obvious.”

Kristen laughed. “Yeah, I got that. But why the sudden change of heart? Less than 24 hours ago you were still cursing his name and giving up men.”

“He apologized.” I said the word apologized really slowly because I was still super surprised it had happened. I laughed and lifted up my phone. “Plus, Aiden texted me and I felt nothing. Well, that’s not entirely true. I felt something even better…closure. I am so over him.” I tossed my phone onto my bed. I didn’t need to hold it and stare at it every few minutes anymore. I was free.

“It’s about time.” She downed the rest of her water bottle. “So you spent the night at his place as friends? What did that involve exactly?”

Strip poker and waking up with my head on his dick. “Just, you know…friend stuff. We fell asleep watching a movie. It was all very PG-13.”

“What movie?” She raised both her eyebrows at me.

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