Page 54 of Those Summer Nights (Sweet Cravings 2)

Maybe I was wrong about being ready to date. When Aiden had dumped me I felt so pathetic and worthless. I felt worthless again right now. I wasn't as pretty as the girl J.J. was talking to. I couldn't compete with her. Besides, if J.J. really did like me, he'd probably already be with me.

And what was with that crap about seeing me tomorrow? He didn’t have my number. He’d never asked for it. All he meant was that he was going to stop by Sweet Cravings to get a free scoop. I was just the schmuck that had offered him a summer of free ice cream.

I could feel the tears running down my cheeks. I didn't want to feel like this again. I grabbed my stuff and stormed back to my apartment, trying to hide my tears the whole way.

Chapter 16

Sunday

I sat down in the back room of the ice cream shop and pulled out my phone. It was hard to get out of bed in the morning. It felt like I was back at school, moping around. But I knew I had to fight the feeling. I couldn't get sucked back into that hole again. And if I thought once more about that blonde slut falling asleep in J.J.'s arms, I'd lose it.

To J.J.’s credit, he did stop by the ice cream shop on Friday. And he hadn’t asked for free ice cream or anything. He just asked if I wanted to hang out. I’d told him I had plans with Kristen. Which was true…dinner with Kristen was one of my favorite things.

Regardless, I was pretty sure he was growing very suspicious that Kristen didn’t exist. But I didn’t care. I wasn’t sure if I knew how to be just his friend, so I had to keep turning him down. It was the only thing I could do to keep my heart intact. How was I supposed to hang out with him for hours as friends when all I wanted to do was reenact our kiss? Or the way he touched me in the sand? It wasn’t possible. There was no way to go back to being platonic.

I looked down at my hand. Reggie's number had vanished a few showers ago. But I found myself constantly staring at my hand like maybe it had all the answers anyway. I wanted to go to the party tomorrow. I’d taken today’s shift partly because I didn’t want to work on the crazy busy 4th of July and partially because I didn’t want to miss the party. And maybe I didn’t want J.J. to know my schedule anymore. To get tomorrow off I’d also had to grab a Tuesday shift. Maybe I’d just change all my days to avoid him.

I sighed. That was ridiculous. I couldn’t avoid him forever. I couldn’t stay fixated on J.J. fo

r the rest of my life. I needed to get out there and make more friends and meet more people. And maybe if I let a few more people in, I wouldn’t be so obsessed with him.

Reggie had invited me to the 4th of July party. I owed it to him to give at least a friendship between us a chance. It wasn’t like J.J. had asked me to the party. We were just friends right now because I was too much of a coward to tell him how I felt. If he was even going, he was probably taking the blonde girl. Maybe she was offering him something I couldn’t…a move to New York. And I definitely couldn’t offer him that. The closest I could get was Newark. Even that was a stretch. I hadn’t heard back from the admissions office yet.

I took a deep breath and typed out a text to Reggie. "Hey! It's Mila. So, where exactly on the beach is that party?" I pressed send.

A few minutes later I got his response. "Hey, Mila! I forget what street it's near. How about I just come to your place and we can find it together?"

I smiled to myself. He was cute. And he probably didn't flirt with every girl he talked to like J.J. did. I gave him my address and pressed send. Then I pulled up the text from Aiden. I was suddenly feeling bold again. And that shithead hadn't mailed me my books yet.

"I'm having a fantastic summer. Although I haven't gotten my books yet. Did you mail them?" I pressed send.

My phone buzzed a minute later. I swiped my finger across the screen, expecting a text from Reggie. But it was Aiden. "Mila, I need to talk to you. Can I call you?"

I put my phone down on the table. Now he finally wants to talk to me? His text from last week was the first time I heard from him since we broke up. I didn't want to talk to him now. I never wanted to talk to him again.

I walked out of the back room.

"Hey, do you mind if I get going a little early? I'm not feeling well," I said to Becca, who I was being teamed up with more and more. Probably because she was always so cheery and I was so…not. The thought of hearing Aiden’s voice made me want to throw up. Besides, J.J. might be showing up any minute to ask if I want to hang out. He probably knew I was randomly working here today. Because clearly he was the stalker, not me. And I didn’t know what to say to him. I mean…what was there to say? He knew I liked him. Of course he knew that. I didn’t need to say it out loud for him to see it. And being around him was just too hard.

"Sure. Feel better, Mila. Oh, are you going to the 4th of July party tomorrow? I heard it's going to be awesome!"

"Yeah, I'm thinking about going."

"I hope I see you there,” Becca said. “Feel better!"

"Thanks!" I quickly took off my apron and went out the door. A second later my phone started buzzing. I looked down and Aiden was calling me. What the hell? I felt like I was going to throw up. What could he possibly want to talk about now? I ignored my phone and it eventually stopped buzzing. But then it started buzzing again. I looked down. Aiden was calling me again. Fuck.

I stopped at a bench on the boardwalk and sat down. For a few weeks I thought I was fine. But apparently I wasn't. I was still a fucking mess. Pining over a guy I could never have was probably just a coping mechanism. Maybe it was one of the stages of grief or something. Anger was definitely one of the stages, and I had plenty of that.

How many times had I called Aiden and he hadn’t answered? Too many to count. Could I really give him the satisfaction of calling twice and me answering? No. A few seconds later the phone stopped buzzing again.

I sighed and leaned back against the bench. Maybe he was calling to apologize. What else could he possibly be calling for? And a late apology was better than no apology. Wasn't it? If I was ever going to be able to let it go, maybe I needed to hear what he had to say. My phone started buzzing again. I can do this.

But then I looked back down at the cracked screen and remembered how it broke in the first place. There was nothing left to say to Aiden. There was no point in taking the call. My phone eventually stopped buzzing and I sighed. Leave me alone.

My silent prayer was not answered. The buzzing started again. You know what? Fuck it. And fuck him. I wanted the apology. He owed me at least that. Maybe it would help me finally move on.

I picked up my phone and answered the call. "Hey," I said much quieter than I meant to. My body was coursing with anger but my voice was barely audible.

---