Page 97 of Those Summer Nights (Sweet Cravings 2)

I opened my eyes and stared out at the Pacific Ocean. I knew my memories and feelings would fade if I gave it enough time. But what if I didn’t fucking want them to?

This feeling was different than when other men in my life left me. I wasn’t just sad. I felt…empty. Like a piece of myself was missing. I shook my head. What the hell was I doing in California when my heart was in Delaware? What the actual fuck am I doing?

I didn’t want anything about this summer to fade. The realization made my tears finally dry up. I’d shed enough tears over my mistake. Because that’s what leaving J.J. was. A mistake. It only took me flying across the country to realize it. And a super long layover. I was definitely sleep-deprived, but my mind had never been clearer. The sun was rising and I was not going to start a new day without being with the love of my life. Because J.J. wasn’t a summer fling. He was everything.

I’d finally stood up to my dad this summer. If was like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. But maybe this whole time I’d just needed to stand up to myself. To get over how I’d let every man in my life treat me in the past. J.J. wasn’t them. And yeah, he had commitment issues. But so did I, or else I wouldn’t be sitting in the sand on the wrong beach.

I left because I was scared. This whole summer was about bettering myself. And I was strong enough to face whatever life handed me. Right now it was handing me the man of my dreams. I just had to go back to Rehoboth to get him.

I stood up and brushed the sand off my ass. Fuck you California. Fuck you SMU. Fuck you fear. I was not going to run away from a good thing just because I was scared of walking away from tuition paid for by a shmuck. Not because I was scared of starting my dreams of starting a restaurant one year sooner than expected. And most certainly not because I was scared of love. I’d never give Aiden and my dad the satisfaction of making me scared of love. Not in a million years.

And so what if J.J. hadn’t said those words? He’d said it in his own way. “It was never a summer fling to me. And you know that.” That right there? Love. He loved me too. But I was finally going to go tell him how I felt. I’d say it first. I’d say it as many times as I had to before he said it back. I didn’t care if it took him longer than me. I just needed him to know that it was true.

I wheeled my suitcase back to the street as I scheduled an Uber. There was no money left in my accounts after my flight here. But I’d max out my credit card to get back to him. Whatever it took.

My Uber driver wasn’t pleased with me as I kept pressing him to go faster. When we finally pulled into the terminal, I grabbed my luggage and ran as fast as possible. I got the earliest ticket despite the long layover. And if I thought crying through a flight was bad, being eager to get to my destination was worse. Planes were supposed to be fast, but they felt impossibly slow today. I was sitting impatiently at my layover in Dallas debating whether or not to rent a car instead when I heard the most intoxicating voice losing it on an air flight attendant.

“And I’m asking what’s causing the delay?” he said. “There’s not a cloud in the sky. I even checked the forecast in LA and it’s all clear. I’m just trying to understand what’s taking so damn long.”

“Sir, I’m not going to ask you again to please take a seat.”

“I’ve been sitting here for hours waiting for a connecting flight and…”

“J.J.?”

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He turned at the sound of his name. For a second we both just stared at each other. I thought I might blink and he’d disappear. But I blinked several times and he was still standing there staring at me. Of all the layover locations in the country and he was here with me. God, it was him. My heart skipped a beat. And then I ran toward him. I jumped into his waiting arms, wrapping my legs around his waist.

“I’m sorry,” I said. “I didn’t mean any of it. I was just scared of getting my heart broken again.”

“Mila…”

“But I love you. I love you so much that it hurts.”

“Mila…”

“I have a hard time trusting people. You overheard that conversation with my dad. He doesn’t care about me and I’ve always felt so unworthy of love because of him. But all of that’s in the past and I don’t want it to affect us. If there even is still an us…”

“Mila…”

“Please let there still be an us. Please forget about everything that happened this afternoon. We were never just a summer fling. You’re everything to me. I came back here this summer so I could be home. I thought being there would fix me. But it wasn't being there that did it. It was you. You're home to me."

“Will you let me get two words in, Jellyfish girl?”

I laughed against his neck.

He held me a little tighter. “I never should have let you walk away,” he said into my hair. “I just felt…I was shocked that you were ending it. I didn’t have enough time to react. But I’ve had a really crappy flight and an even crappier layover to figure out what you needed to hear. And maybe a little help from Kristen too.”

I laughed again.

“I love you. I love you so much it hurts. And I was scared to tell you. I was scared that we wouldn’t work out and I’d get hurt. But it hurt a hell of a lot more knowing I never told you how I felt. And watching you walk away? It nearly killed me.” His hot breath on the side of my neck was just as soothing as his words. “Ever since you walked away it felt like a piece of me was missing. And now that you’re back in my arms, I’m never letting you go again. When I’m with you, nothing else matters.”

It was everything I needed to hear and more.

“Maybe you thought we were just one summer and you were making the best of it,” he said. “But I never saw it that way. I thought it was the beginning of us. I never saw the timer on our relationship. I never saw it. And if you felt it, it’s gone now.” He unwrapped my legs from around his waist and I let my feet slide back down to the floor.

He looked so nervous and excited at the same time that for a second I thought he was going to get down on one knee. And I loved him, but I didn’t need that. This whole time I just wanted him to say that he loved me back. My heart was too full already. I couldn’t handle anymore.

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