Page 116 of Going for Gold (Sweet Cravings 3)

I took my credit card back from him and got out of the cab.

Bryce lived in an apartment complex, so the door was locked and there was a call box with a list of tenants. I pushed the button next to the name Bryce Walker.

"Bryce?" I said. "It's Alina. I'm so sorry about what happened. I never meant..." I stopped to choke back tears. "I...I just want to apologize. And then you never have to see me again."

No answer.

"Please, Bryce. I'm so, so sorry."

Still no answer.

It was clear Bryce didn't want to talk to me. I had kind of expected it, but I had been holding onto a small, ridiculous shred of hope that he would forgive me. The reality hit me like a ton of bricks. I couldn't hold back the tears anymore. I collapsed onto the stairs and cried my eyes out, and then I cried some more.

***

A sickly homeless man offering me part of a sandwich - a sandwich he had clearly plucked from a trashcan - while I cried on the stairs of Bryce's apartment was the final straw. Being pitied by a homeless man was horrifying, but that alone wasn't what did it for me. What really did it was seeing how he kept going despite literally having nothing. Yes, I had done something awful, and yes, I had lost Bryce, but I hadn't lost everything. I still had money, I still had my health, and no matter how much I dreaded seeing my parents and my grandma, I knew that deep down they would still love me. I was going to have to face them eventually, so I might as well get it over with. If I took it one day at a time, I could slowly pick up the pieces of my shattered life.

After catching a plane to Philly, I got an Uber to Kristen's apartment.

Kristen had moved into a nice apartment after graduating a few months ago. I had moved home to live with my parents. But if I had to choose between facing my parents or facing Kristen, it was an easy choice.

I pressed on the buzzer outside the building. "Kristen, it's me."

She didn't say anything, but the doors immediately buzzed open. I took the stairs instead of the elevator, and then I stopped in front of her door. Am I really ready to see her? She had a front row seat to my gangbang. I didn't know how she could ever look at me the same again.

I considered turning and running away, but before I could, the door opened.

Kristen immediately threw her arms around. "Alina, I'm so, so sorry." She immediately burst into tears. "I didn't think you were ever going to talk to me again. I'm just so happy to see you."

Her crying made me start crying. "What?" I choked through my sobs. "You're the one that shouldn't be talking to me. You saw what I did."

Kristen pulled back and wiped the tears away from her eyes. "I just thought after my message..." she let her voice die away.

"I haven't listened to any of my messages. My phone died. I...I can't."

She grabbed my hand and pulled me into her apartment, closing the door behind me. "Alina, what happened was all my fault."

"No it wasn't. I was like a sex craved maniac." Saying it out loud made me wince.

"No." Kristen shook her head. "Tim planned that whole thing for me. He knew the idea of multiple partners excited me. He choreographed everything that happened. He just didn't tell anyone except the backup dancers about it."

"Tim being crazy doesn't make it your fault. You just said you didn't know about it."

"I didn't know. I swear I didn't. But you don't understand. I lied." She looked down at her ankle.

For the first time, I realized she wasn't using her crutches. She didn't even have a wrap around her ankle.

"I didn't hurt my ankle. I just wanted you to have the chance to beat Gabriela."

"What?" I felt my tears biting at my eyes again. "I saw you fall..."

"I faked it. And I'm so, so sorry. I didn't know what Tim was planning at the end of the dance. I didn't know what was going to happen. But it was supposed to be me up there. When he found out it was you, Tim told all the guys exactly what to say to make you feel comfortable. He used your relationship with Bryce to manipulate you. For some reason he was taking the tiebreaker way too fucking seriously. He completely lost his mind."

I took a step away from her. "Kristen. My life is over. I can't go anywhere. I lost...everything." I felt like I couldn't breathe.

Tears started coming to Kristen's eyes again. "I'm sorry. Alina, please, I'm so, so sorry."

I sat down at a stool at her kitchen counter and put my face in my hands. "I'm not mad at you. I'm not mad at Tim. I'm just mad at myself. How could I let it go that far?" I lifted my face out of my hands. I could feel the tears streaming down my cheeks.

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