"Maybe. Alina did a kickass job, especially with only a few days of practice. And you did great not freaking out when your suit tore open."
"Man, I couldn't believe when that happened. Do you think Gabriela sabotaged the suits to fuck with Alina's performance? Or is Yao Kai getting us back?"
"Neither."
"Huh? Why do you say neither?"
"Because I designed the suits to make that happen."
"Why the hell would you do that?" I asked.
Tim grinned at me. "You said to make sure the USA won this event at all costs, so that's what I did."
"How is a bunch of naked guys going to sway a judges panel made up of a majority of men?" Why the hell did I trust Tim with this task? Now my sister is going to get fucking killed. Fuck!
Tim laughed. "The male nudity wasn't for the judges, it was just phase 1 of
my master plan."
"What?"
"When I looked into the judges' backgrounds, I found a few interviews where some of them commented positively on Luciana Acosta's performance in Chile's version of Dancing with the Stars where she took her top off and didn't have any pasties on. The translation was slightly ambiguous, but it seemed like at least one of the judges on today's panel would have liked to see her take things even further."
Further?
"So further is exactly what I decided to give them."
"How so?"
"Okay, so you know how we always practiced with me holding one side of the flag at the end?"
"Yes..."
"And then how right before the dance I told you to switch spots with one of the guys in the background so you could make a quick exit?"
"Yes."
"Well, that was actually so that Alina would think it was you holding the flag at the end. Since you all had your faces covered, she wouldn't realize it wasn't you."
"And?"
"I told the guy to pretend to be you and suggest that she give him a blowjob to boost her sensuality score."
"Dude, she's not going to fall for that shit. Wait, weren't you planning all this for Kristen rather than Alina? I thought you liked her, why would you want to trick her into blowing some other guy?"
"Because there's more. I had a friend hack into a few of the judges' computers to see what they were into. What he found was tons of porn featuring girls with multiple partners. So the plan was for the guy on the other side of the flag to pretend to be you after Alina blows the first guy for a few seconds. I figured she'd be so mortified about blowing the wrong guy that she'd easily agree to it, and then they'd drop the flag."
"Tim, that's the worst plan I've ever heard."
"Why? I'm like 50% sure the judges will love it, and I know Alina will. I went through a lot of effort to only choose men with larger than average penises and also to screen them to make sure they were disease free. It's all about the attention to detail."
"Well, it might have worked on Kristen, but it's not going to work on Alina. I sure as hell hope her dance was enough to win the gold even without your shitty plan. Let's go see her scores." I started to type Em's number into my phone as we walked over to the curtains to see the scores come in.
I was surprised to see Owen Harris still behind stage peeping out through the curtain. He should have been out there with Alina getting her scores. And why is her dance music playing again?
Owen Harris pushed on his ear piece and leaned down towards the microphone on his label, speaking way faster than I had ever heard him speak on air. "I don't know what the hell to do! Should I try to stop it?"
Shit. He could only be talking about one thing.