Page 27 of Single Girl Rules #BFF

“What? Was that okay? I was planning on sending them away for good so that they’d stop bothering you, but then I realized that having two manservants would be so much better. Actually, I’ll be honest. I kept them for the dick. Did you see how big they are?” I pointed to my computer screen.

Ash put her hand up to block out my screen. But I could tell she was secretly looking through her fingers and loving it. “Wait a second…you did all that because they made me uncomfortable?”

“Of course, bestie.” I pulled the translated Single Girl Rules out from under my pillow and brought them over to Ash. “Rule #1: Boys are replaceable. Friends are forever.”

“Whoa…I did not ask you to do that,” she said.

“I know. But I had to.” I pointed to the first rule again.

“I don’t think that’s what that means.”

“Of course it is! I made it so that my bodyguards will be around less because you didn’t like them…hence the replaceable boys part. And you’re my best friend. Friends are forever! Boom. Nailed it.”

“I think it just meant like…have a girls’ night or something.”

“No. There are instructions for that in rule #2. We’ll get to that next, don’t you worry your sweet little head. Because we’re single girls.” I flipped my hair over my shoulder with all the sass.

Ash just stared at me.

“You have to do it too,” I said and nudged her shoulder.

“We’re single girls,” Ash said and flipped her hair over her shoulder.

“Yeah we are!”

“You’re going to make me do all these rules, aren’t you?” She either looked horrified or excited. It was hard to tell because I was just so freaking excited.

“Heck yeah! Because we’re…”

“Single girls,” Ash said with an exaggerated sigh.

“Don’t look so glum. Rule #13 is going to make you so happy, I promise.”

“Good God, what’s rule #13? Please say it doesn’t involve two men at a time.”

Well it probably will now. I could tell she was asking for it. “You’ll just have to wait and see.” I swore she looked excited for a second. She was definitely kinkier than she was letting on. We were both going to thoroughly enjoy the Single Girl Rules. This was going to be the most unforgettable four years of our lives ever! Especially with Ash by my side. And even though I wasn’t learning anything in my dumb classes, I was definitely learning very valuable life lessons. I like my dicks in twos. And Rule #1: Boys are replaceable. Friends are forever.

Epilogue - Blasphemy

Present Day - Saturday - Oct 10, 2026

“Okay, I admit. It was fun to reminisce about that crazy night,” said Ash. “Now can we puh-lease get back to the wedding?! My dress is officially ruined.” She lifted her arms to show off her enormous pit stains.

“Of course we can!”

“Thank God.” She grabbed the Russian book from me and started to shove it back onto the shelf.

“Whoa, what’s the hurry? We’ll get back to the wedding eventually, but we still have to go through the rest of the rules.”

“But Rule #1 already took…” She checked her phone and her eyes got huge. “Oh my God! That story took thirty minutes. In ten minutes you’re officially going to be late for your wedding. I think I’m going to faint.”

“Of course I’m going to be late. Two hours late is appropriate, don’t you think? I love my shmoopie poo, but I don’t want to look like a desperate loser. And anyway…Single Girl Rule #1: Boys are replaceable. Friends are forever!”

“No! You stop it! I’ve had it with these damned rules!”

I gaped at her. “Ashley Gertrude Cooper III. I ought to wash your mouth out with soap. That’s blasphemy!”

“That’s not my name,” she muttered.

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