Page 8 of Single Girl Rules #BFF

“It is paper,” Slavanka said.

Slavanka, you whore. She just wasn’t getting it. I’d been standing here after class for hours. Or at least, that’s how it felt. I was pretty sure it had only been like two minutes, but I was not a woman of much patience. “Translate what is on the paper.”

“Paper.”

Holy hell. I pulled out a chair and sat down next to her. “See these?” I pointed to the Russian letters. “What does it say?”

“Oh. I see.”

“Yeah?”

“Yes, yes.” She leaned over to get a better look. “Paper says…Single Girl Rules.”

“Oh my God, what?!”

She smiled. “Yes, rules of the single girls.”

No freaking way! I needed this in my life ASAP. “That’s amazing! What is the first rule?”

“My English is not so good.”

“That’s okay, just give me the best translation you have.”

She looked back down at the paper and tilted her head to the side. “Okay. I will do this. Rule #1 is…Boys are replaceable. Friends are forever.”

“That is so true.” I was finally learning that very thing. Having Ash as a friend was one of my favorite parts of my college experience so far. Well, that and all the dirty sex. “That’s a good solid rule.”

“Yes, yes.”

“How many rules are there?”

“Very many.”

“That makes sense.” I’d always had a hard time keeping friends. I probably didn’t know some of these rules. “What about this one?” I pointed to a random line on the paper.

“Oh. Oh my. Lots of sex talk.”

“Ah!” So it wasn’t just about friendship. It was about my favorite subject. I wonder if it covers anal too… “I’m so excited!”

She laughed.

“Slavanka, I love you. How long will it take to translate all of these?”

“One day. Two maybe.”

“Thank you!” I gave her a big hug. “I don’t know how I’ll ever repay you. You’re seriously the best.” I suddenly felt bad for silently calling her a whore a few minutes ago. She wasn’t a whore at all. Well…unless she was. Which was fine. I was cool with that. I could tell we were going to be good friends too. Slavanka was a kinky bitch.

***

“You won’t even believe what I found today,” I said as I bit into another big juicy burger. Another thing I’d learned from Ash…I didn’t have to eat salads all the time like my stupid fake friends back in New York. Ash looked amazing and she ate whatever she wanted. And burgers and fries were freaking great. If I was lucky, any weight I did gain would go right to my tits. My tits loved meats and bread.

“What did you find? I just found out that you can take these weird gym glasses that actually count toward credits to your GPA.”

“Yeah…what I found out was nothing like that. But now I’m curious. What kind of weird gym classes are we talking about? I’ve been dying to take pole classes.”

“Like pole vaulting?”

I laughed. “No, more of the stripper variety.”

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