Page 12 of Single Girl Rules #BananaParty

“You mean the Hippocratic Oath?”

“No, silly. That’s for doctors.” Ash seemed so smart, but sometimes the things she said were so dumb. She really needed that banana juice ASAP to help her loosen up. Or I’d be tempted to call her a basic B, and there was no way in hell I would have a maid of honor who was a basic B.

Right on cue, the flight attendants came out with our refreshments. Slavanka barehanded a big sausage while Ash and I took big swigs of our drinks.

Slavanka was such a baller. She was going to excel tonight, I could tell.

“Wow, this is amazing!” said Ash. She took another gulp. “Can I have another of these?”

One of the flight attendants nodded and ducked back into the kitchenette.

Ash finished her first banana juice and then started on her second. “What were we talking about again?”

“Strippers,” said Slavanka.

“You mean STDs,” corrected Ash.

“It’s probably not my place to ask this, said the flight attendant, “But what kind of horrible strippers would have STDs? You guys know to only go to clubs where they’ve taken the Strippocratic Oath, right?”

“That’s exactly what I was saying! Thank you…” I glanced at her nametag. “…Esme.”

“Okay, I’m officially lost,” said Ash. “What is the Strippocratic Oath?”

“A sacred oath that all strippers have taken since the days of ancient Greece. Let me see if I can remember it…” I cleared my throat and recited:

“I swear by Dionysus, god of theater, entertainment, and festivity, and Priapus, god of the phallus, and with all the gods as my witness, that I shall uphold the following oath.

“First and foremost, I shall pleasure my patrons indiscriminately to my own enjoyment.

“I shall keep myself free of disease.

“I shall keep my patron’s identities confidential, and I shall not recognize them outside of my place of work.

“I shall keep my body in peak physical condition.

“And finally, I shall use the tools and techniques of my trade to postpone my climax until my performance requires it.

“If I keep this oath, may I find eternal admiration and forever please my woman.

“And if I break this oath, may my manhood be forever giant and flaccid.”

“Giant?” asked Ash. “That kind of feels like a reward for them to break the oath.”

“Not for the Greeks. They appreciated the aesthetics of a tiny flaccid penis and the functionality of a monster erection. In other words…ancient Greeks loved growers. But what’s really important is that line about disease. See? You have nothing to worry about.”

“If that was a real oath, then maybe you’d be right. But I’m 99% sure you just made all of that up. Which was actually really impressive. Seriously…how’d you come up with all that on the spot?” Ash clumsily clapped her hands. That banana juice was hitting her hard.

“I didn’t. I was reciting a real oath.”

“It’s legit,” agreed Esme. “She got every word of it correct.”

Damn right I did. I was starting to like this Esme ch

ick. Daddy really knew how to pick ‘em.

“I’ll tell you correct words,” said Ash.

Um…what? I held back a laugh. Seriously, was she drunk already? She’d only had a glass and a half of the good stuff.

---