Page 22 of Single Girl Rules #BananaParty

We rushed across the dance floor to the table. But just before we got there, a group of five girls snaked it from us.

“Excuse me,” I said to one of them. “But this is my table.”

“Says who?”

Excuse me? “It’s my bachelorette party.” I went to sit down but she pulled the chair away from me.

“Oh my God,” said the girl. “Congratulations! But it’s also my bestie’s 21st birthday. And she really wants this table too.” She blew up two giant “21” balloons and tied them to a chair to claim their territory.

What the hell? For a second I was pissed that some birthday girl was trying to steal my spotlight. This was supposed to be my Banana Party. Not some joint venture. But then I realized that I’m me. And I’m amazing. No one could steal the spotlight from me, no matter how hard they tried. It was best if I just ignored their existence.

And honestly, this wasn’t even the best table. The table right above it on the second tier was way better. It was closer to the bar, and it had a way better view of the stage. Ash would appreciate both of those things. That girl desperately needed more banana juice. And the stage…well, it would be a disaster to not have a good view of the stage at a Banana Party.

“Awww, happy birthday,” I said to the one I assumed was the birthday girl. But who could really be sure which one it was with their complete lack of proper accessorizing? No sashes. No tiaras. And no matching outfits. If not for their admittedly impressive make-up, I might have mistaken them for a roving band of homeless dudes. “Come on, girls. Let’s go get a better table.” I flipped my hair and my amazingly dressed squad followed me up the stairs to our table.

“Where’s all the banana bread?” asked Ash when we sat down. “The stress of getting fake-arrested has me famished.”

“I don’t think they have any,” I said. Most of the girls here were probably too dense to know that the secret to big tits was bread. I remembered when I used to be basic and didn’t eat carbs. “But I bet they do have some banana juice.”

“Oooh! Yes!”

We got up and headed to the bar.

“Two banana juices, please.”

“Slushy or liquid?” asked the girl behind the bar.

I looked at Ash.

“Slushy,” she said. “That sounds so freaking good.”

“I’ll have the same.”

The bartender filled two glasses from a slushy machine and walked over to a penis-shaped ice luge. “Who’s going first?”

“Me!”

I got on my knees and opened my mouth as she poured my slushy into the top of the sculpture. I caught as much as I could in my mouth, but some spilled onto my chin. “Oops.” I wiped it off as sexily as possible. If there had been any boys around, they totally would have wanted to add to the mess. But alas…the Banana Party had just begun. “Your turn.”

Ash’s eyes were huge.

“Oh come on, it’ll be good practice for later.”

Her eyes got even bigger.

“I’m joking.” And then I realized she wasn’t actually looking at me. “What are you looking at?”

She pointed behind me.

I spun around, but she was just pointing at some trees. “I don’t see anything.”

“You missed it. There was someone hiding behind those trees watching you drink your slushy. I think it was a monkey.”

Yes! I knew exactly what it was. And Ash would find out soon enough. “Well of course it was a monkey. Monkeys love bananas.”

“But there aren’t any bananas here. Unlike my Banana Party. I really think we should have just stayed back at the dorm and played Bananagrams.”

“There most certainly are bananas here.” I pointed at a bushel of bananas hanging from a tree.

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