Page 32 of Single Girl Rules #BananaParty

No!!!

“I’ll be stuffed! What a finish!” yelled the DJ. “Just when the bride-to-be was looking like a dinky-di winner, her man slipped on a banana. The bridesmaid wins it. Ace comeback, that.”

“I win,” said Slavanka as we both dismounted.

“I admit, it was an impressive comeback. But I would have had you if not for that banana peel.”

“Yes, yes. Birthday girl sabotage.”

I looked over to her table and saw her eating a banana - no peel in sight. She gave me a saucy wave. That little whore!

Speaking of little whores…where was Ash? She should have finished by now. I spun around. Poor Ash was sprawled out on the dance floor. She popped right up and ran over to us.

“What happened to you?” I asked.

“My stripper bucked me off. I think I may have kicked him in the ribs too hard. But oh well. That was amazing! Can we go again?”

“You should have smacked his ass,” I said. “Or if you had a whip handy, you could have whipped him.” I turned to Slavanka. “Where did you even get that whip?”

“I keep in bra.”

“Nice. You’ll have to show me how you make it fit. But first I need to kick this worthless loser square in the nuts. Spread those legs, big boy.”

Instead of spreading his legs, my Italian stallion took off in a dead sprint.

“Hey! Get back here!” I started laughing. I felt bad that he thought I’d really kick him in the nuts. I’d only been joking. I’d never defile such a beautiful specimen of the male anatomy.

“Oh! I’ll chase him!” Ash started to run after him, but I grabbed her arm.

“Na, don’t worry about it. I promised him a blowjob if we won. And a kick to the nuts if we lost.”

“You’re SO smart. I can’t believe I didn’t think to offer my guy a blowjob if we won. Oh well. Losing is fun too. Because now I get to do the next dare! To the banana luge!” She pointed to the bar and then started marching towards it.

Why is she marching? Actually, I didn’t care. It looked fun. Slavanka and I marched behind her.

Ash pushed past a few girls and waved the bartender over like a total pro. “One banana slushy,” she demanded. “Also, has anyone ever told you how amazing you are at bartending? You make the BEST BANANA JUICE EVER.”

“Thanks,” said the bartender. “But you have to wait in line for a slushy.” She pointed to a line of girls waiting to drink from the banana luge. No, not just any girls. It was the birthday girl and her friends.

They took turns getting on their knees in front of the penis-shaped ice sculpture while the bartender poured banana slushies into the top of it. The slushy slid through the ice and into their mouths.

Gah! First the table stealing, then the banana peel sabotage, and now this? It was impossible to ignore them when they were literally standing in our way. This birthday girl was the worst. But it was fine. By the end of the night, everyone here would know that this was my party. Not hers. “Wanna skip this one dare for now?” I asked. “We can always come back to it once the line is gone.”

Ash shook her head. “No way! I got this.”

“You do?”

Was Ash about to punch a bitch?! That would be amazing. But it wasn’t what she did. Instead, she beckoned the bartender back over and said something that I couldn’t hear over the music.

The bartender nodded and then handed her a glass of banana slushy.

Ash walked back over to us with the glass in hand.

“It doesn’t count if you just drink it,” I said. “You have to use the luge. It was part of the dare.”

“I know. There are plenty of other luges.”

“There are?” I asked. I had only seen the one.

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