Page 55 of Single Girl Rules #BananaParty

“Love you too! Bye, Daddy!” I blew a kiss at the phone and hung up. “All fixed,” I said to Ash.

“Are you sure?”

“Yup. 100%. Daddy would never let me down. He’s not even very angry at me for taking his jet to Miami when I should have been in my dorm. He’s very understanding.”

She let out a huge sigh. “Oh thank God.” She shook her head. “I can’t believe you didn’t warn us!”

“I swear I thought you all knew. Have you really never seen a Banana Party video? They’re so hot.” I pulled one up on my phone and started playing one for her. It was pretty good, but ours was gonna be way better.

“Okay, I’d like to propose a new rule,” Ash said. “Single Girl Rule #58: No luring your friends onto a porn set.”

“Oh Ash. You can’t just make up new Single Girl Rules all willy nilly. These are timeless, sacred rules that have been carefully crafted and refined over thousands of years.” Also, didn’t she know that there were only 44 rules?

“Well can you at least promise me that you won’t do it again?”

I smiled at her. “Of course. It can be Best Friend Rule #1.”

“Thank you. But also…I’m not sure what that says about our friendship that the very first rule has to be about luring me onto a porn set.”

“Uh…it says that we’re fucking awesome! In related news…I should probably tell you that next Friday there’s like a 50% chance we’re gonna end up on a porn set.”

“No!” yelled Ash.

“I’m joking. But don’t pretend like you didn’t have the time of your life tonight.”

She turned red and hid behind her pillow. And then she fell asleep.

I patted her head. “Don’t worry, girl. Next Friday is gonna be just as epic.”

Epilogue - TWENTY?!

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Present Day - Saturday - Oct 10, 2026

“Wow,” said Ash. “That was quite an outlandish tale. But that’s not at all what happened.”

“What part did I get wrong exactly?” I asked.

“Uh…the entire second half of the story. I remember that night perfectly. We went to Miami and got caught with fake IDs. And then Teddybear and Ghost came and bailed us out. Craziest. Night. Ever.”

“You’re forgetting the entire Banana Party.”

She looked at me like I was crazy. “Because it never happened.”

“Of course it did! I took all 12 inches of the Banana King like an absolute champ. And you got pretty freaky yourself, young lady.”

“Yeah…no. None of that is true.”

“Yes it is.”

“Chastity, I get reminiscing before your wedding. But making up stories? We’re going to be late!” She tried to pull me out of the Russian lit aisle of the library.

I pulled my hand out of her grip. “I’ve told you…shmoopie poo won’t mind if I’m a little late for my big day. And I’m not making anything up.”

“Prove it.”

“Okay.” I pulled out my phone and selected a gallery from our college years. “See that 6-foot-tall banana trophy? You know…the one that was in our dorm for 4 years and then in my apartment ever since?”

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