Page 21 of Single Girl Rules #BananaParty

“I thought everyone knew that you could only get to the Banana Party by looking super hot and using a fake ID to get into some lame club.”

“Why would I know that?” asked Ash. She looked to her fellow bridesmaids. “Did you guys know that?”

“I’d heard rumors,” said Esme. Zoraida nodded in agreement.

“Handsome officer take us to sex gulag,” added Slavanka. “Yes, yes.”

“Are there any other surprises I should know about?” asked Ash. “Oh God, is some naked dude gonna attack us the second we step off this elevator?” She jammed her elbow against the bottom button labeled JAIL. The only other option was ROOF, which appeared to be where we

were headed. The JAIL button lit up, but we continued going up. Because that was how elevators worked. You couldn’t just switch directions all willy-nilly.

Damn, being fake-arrested really sobered Ash up quick. She needed more banana juice immediately. “Ash, don’t be ridiculous. Single Girl Rule #15: No inviting guys to girls’ night.” I probably should have mentioned the second part of Rule #15 - …unless they’re strippers - but I didn’t want to spoil the surprise. Or for her to run away. “It’s almost a shame that there aren’t gonna be any boys there, though. Because if there were, they’d definitely want to bang us.” I pointed to myself in the mirror. God I look hot tonight.

“Ah!” screamed Ash. “What am I wearing?!” She tugged on the hem of her very sexy pink dress.

“The dress you chose…”

“Nope. I would not have chosen this dress. It’s way too short. And I would never wear pink. It looks horrible with my hair.”

That much was true. Even though I’d primarily planned tonight to help Ash have the time of her life, this was still a mock-bachelorette party. And I took every part of that very seriously, including practicing being a bridezilla. I wanted to say something sassy AF. But this didn’t seem like the best time to tell her that the pink clashed terribly with her hair. She was already spiraling.

“You look amazing,” I said, holding back my desire to be a bridezilla. Other than the pink.

“God, I need to change immediately.” She tugged on the hem again.

But I wasn’t paying attention to her anymore, because the elevator had just opened onto the roof deck of one of the tallest buildings in Miami.

“Ahhh! I squealed. “I can’t believe we’re at a real Banana Party! Let’s do this.” I hooked arms with Ash and Slavanka and pulled them off the elevator into what looked like a jungle.

But Ash wouldn’t budge.

“Ash, what are you doing?” I asked.

She crossed her arms in front of her chest. “I’m not getting off this elevator.”

“Why? Because of the dress? Or because you’re scared some stripper is gonna mollywhop you the second you get off?”

Her eyes grew round. “Well I wasn’t scared of that second thing, but now I kind of am.”

I laughed. “Ash, come on. The Banana Party is only for girls. No boys allowed.” Luckily strippers don’t count as boys.

“Okay…” She tentatively stepped forward. And then she looked around with a frown on her face. “This is it?” she asked. She sounded completely unimpressed.

“What do you mean this is it?” I motioned to the thick, twisted tree trunks all around us. And their bright green leaves. If not for the neon green lights draped between the trees like vines and the skyscrapers just visible through the thick canopy, I would have thought we were actually in a jungle.

The rain from earlier had been replaced by clear skies, and a gentle ocean breeze brought a slight chill to the air. Which was perfect, because Ash was already drenched in sweat.

“Sure, it’s a neat jungle,” said Ash. “But it’s not supposed to be a jungle party. It’s a Banana Party. And I don’t see any bananas. I had so many actual bananas at my Banana Party.” The distant howl of a monkey made her jump and hide behind me. “Holy shit! What the hell was that?”

“Monkey,” said Slavanka.

“Relax,” I said. “They won’t attack us. Unless we want them to.” I winked at her.

She laughed. And then she frowned. “Wait, what was that wink for? Are monkeys seriously going to attack us?”

“You’ll see,” I said with another wink. “Come on…we should hurry. I don’t want to be late and miss out on getting a good table.” I brushed a few low-hanging branches out of our way and pulled Ash along the tiled path through the jungle. We soon came to a big clearing with a dance floor, a stage, and three tiers of seating.

I pointed to an empty table front and center, right by the dance floor. “There. That’s our table!”

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