Page 24 of Single Girl Rules #BananaParty

“I’m getting an extra-large double with hot fudge and nuts,” Ash said. “And for my ice cream…ew. Why do they have olive and ginger as options? I’m just gonna go with extra extra dark chocolate. Oh! And definitely the secret sauce.”

Wow. It was extremely tempting to just let her roll with that order. But I wanted her to ease into the fun.

“Can I see that for a sec?” I asked.

“Sure.” She handed me the tablet. “You know, I think I might have been a little quick to judge this Banana Party.” She downed a little more banana juice. “I’m still disappointed by the lack of banana bread, but this epic banana split might just make up for it.”

“Mhm,” I said, not really listening. I was too busy fixing her order to be something more manageable. I switched double to single, XL to medium, extra extra dark chocolate to vanilla, and got rid of the special sauce. Then I hit order.

And then I copied her original order onto my tablet. What can I say? She had good taste, even if she didn’t realize what she was ordering.

“We dance now?” asked Slavanka.

“Yeah!” screamed Ash. “I LOVE THIS SONG!” Get Low had just started playing.

“Right?” I yelled over the music. “This is my jam!”

We all stood up. Slavanka pulled her straps off her shoulder and let her tits spill out.

“Slavanka!” yelled Ash. “Your tits are amazing! I just wanna…” She mimed motorboating Slavanka.

Wow. Ash was so drunk. And apparently drunk Ash just loved everything. Even Slavanka’s tits.

“Wait,” said Ash. “Why are your tits out? Should mine be out too?” She reached up to her straps.

“This bachelorette party, yes?” asked Slavanka.

I nodded, but even I was confused about this. Slavanka really was a dirty little ho, and I was here for it.

Slavanka nodded too. “We take clothes off now.”

“Is that what they do in Russia?” I asked. I loved learning about new cultures.

“Bride and friends make sex with all village boys. When boys arrive?”

“I wish there were boys,” Ash said. “God, I love boys. But that stupid DJ said no boys allowed.” She gave the DJ a thumbs down and blew a raspberry at her. “Just kidding,” she yelled. “You’re amazing!”

Slavanka frowned and pulled her dress back up over her breasts. “Americans strange.”

Be patient, you kinky bitch.

Chapter 6 - Banana Splits

Friday, Sept 13, 2013

I struck poses to the beat of the music as my bridesmaids pretended to take paparazzi photos of me. I shimmied and blew a kiss at Slavanka and she pretended to be knocked down by the sexiness of it.

I laughed as Esme caught her before she actually fell on the dance floor. And then I slapped Ash’s ass as she gulped down more banana juice.

Crap, where’d she find another glass of banana juice? I kept trying to corral them away from her. But drunk Ash was speedy as hell.

Ash started jumping up and down, throwing her hands in the air. She was by far the worst dancer. But she was having the time of her life. I could tell.

Esme and Zoraida were so good at dancing, but the real star was Slavanka. I’d never seen such an elegant fusion of classical ballet and twerking. If there had been any men here, they would have been all over her. As soon as they were done with me, that is. Because even though her ballet twerking was hot, my dancing was clearly superior.

I dipped it low and grabbed Ash’s hips to try to help her with her rhythm. It did not work. Each time I tried to shift her hips left, she’d thrust forward. Was her only dancing experience watching male strippers or something?

“I love bananas!” yelled Ash, spilling some of her drink on the floor.

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