Page 38 of Single Girl Rules #BananaParty

I looked over to see Ash booing at the top of her lungs.

I loved that bitch.

The girl giving the toast made a disgusted noise with her throat. “This table has all the hottest girls in this joint,” she said and lifted up her glass. “And we don’t even have to try hard to look good. Not like those old chicks getting married up there.” She pointed to us.

Oh, hell no.

“Birthday is dumb!” Slavanka yelled, before I could think of something witty to say.

#NailedIt.

“What?” the girl said.

“Birthday is dumb. I no know my birthday. And I am mature person, not child girl.”

“You’re dumb,” the girl yelled back.

Whoa. “Just because my girl speaks broken English does not make her dumb, you ignoramus!” I yelled. “She’s learning English and she’s fucking kick ass!”

“Slut!”

“Thank you!” I put my hand to my chest. “But you’re still a terrible human!”

“Cunt!”

“Language!” yelled Ash. “She said a bad word. Off with her head!”

The microphone screeched as the DJ ran back onto the stage. “Babes, babes. Please. Let’s settle this the Banana Party way…with a Banana Race!”

Hell yeah. This was my night. My Banana Party. I was tired of that birthday girl trying to steal my spotlight. It was time for my squad to show them who was boss.

Chapter 9 - Banana Race

Friday, Sept 13, 2013

All the girls in the audience cheered the announcement of the Banana Race, but none louder than Ash.

“Wahoo!” She clapped like crazy and then turned to me. “It’s a good thing we already practiced riding some strippers. Those dumb birthday girls don’t stand a chance.”

“This is a different sort of race,” I said with a wink.

“Oh.” She looked sad for a second, and then recognition flashed on her face. “Right. I think I saw a Banana Race at a Blue Rocks game during the 7th inning stretch one time.”

“Did you? Since when do they allow blowjobs at minor league baseball games?”

“No, silly.” She tried to boop me on the nose but missed. “Banana Races aren’t about blowjobs. Do you think they’ll all be wearing banana suits, or will some of them be dressed as other things? God, I hope none of them are dressed like cucumbers.” She shivered.

“What about anything that’s happened tonight makes you think that cocks will not be involved in the Banana Race?”

“Oooooh, I love cocks. Tell me more.” Ash took a big gulp of her banana juice.

“Bride squad. Birthday squad,” said the DJ. “Please join me on stage.”

We all got up and made our way to the main stage. The birthday girl and her squad looked like some ragtag team of misfits with their non-matching outfits. Meanwhile my squad was absolutely slaying our pink and white bachelorette theme.

“Before we bring out the bananas, do you wanna know what you’re playing for?” asked the DJ.

“Yeah!” yelled Ash.

---