Page 99 of City of Sin (Men of Manhattan 1)

But I still didn't know him that well. I accidently called his apartment home and he accidentally said he loved me. We hadn't even talked about whether or not we were exclusive, let alone all of that. He could be seeing someone else. I tried to dismiss the thought. We had spent every night of the past couple weeks together. If he was seeing someone else, he wasn't seeing them very often. And he had said he loved me. Mason Caldwell loves me.

What am I doing

? Patrick had used me. As a face for his work functions. As an idea maybe. I didn't even know anymore. But he had stopped loving me. I was worried that Mason was using me for a different reason. For the things that Patrick had paid someone for.

Mason and I did more than have sex, though. He made me laugh. Like, water coming out of my nose laughing. He made me happy. And that's why I was scared. I didn't want to lose him. But if he did think women were expendable, how much time could I possibly have left? I reached up and touched the side of his face. He had scruff on his face and I liked how it felt rough against my palm.

He shifted in his sleep and I immediately moved my hand away from his face.

He yawned and opened his eyes. He smiled when he saw me staring at him. "I like waking up to you." He grabbed my waist and pulled me on top of him.

I laughed and put my hands on either side of him on the mattress. I wanted to talk to him about how I was feeling, but I didn't want to scare him away.

"Hey," he said and put his hand on the side of my face. "Is everything okay?" He was so sweet. And it made my stomach churn even more.

"You don't do relationships."

He sighed and put his hands behind his head. He stared at me for a second before saying, "I haven't in a long time, no."

"So what does that make me?"

He smiled. "Mine."

I laughed. "Seriously, Mason, what are we doing?"

"Enjoying each other's company."

"Right." I smiled but I felt like crying. Right now we were enjoying each other's company. And when that changed, we were done. When he decided I wasn't fun anymore. I liked when he called me his. I liked the way that sounded way too much.

"Bee, I really like you."

"I really like you too."

He reached up and tucked a loose strand of hair behind my ear. "Then what's the problem?"

"Are you going to get bored with me?" As soon as I said it, I regretted it. I sounded so childish. Of course nothing lasted forever. I knew that better than anyone. I wasn't sure what I even meant with that question. He'd get bored with me eventually, just like Patrick. I wasn't enough.

"That's what you're worried about?"

"I've just never done anything like this before."

"Like this?" He raised his eyebrow at me. "What do you think we're doing?"

I laughed. "I don't know." I put my hand on his hard chest. I just needed to ask him. "Are you seeing anyone else?"

"No."

"So those clubs..."

"I already told you. I haven't been to one since I've met you. You give me everything that I need."

Do I give him everything he needs? How can I, if I don't know what those places are? Is it just sex? Is it shows? Is it more than that? "Can you take me to one?"

"What?" He lowered his eyebrows.

"To one of those places? So I can see it?"

"I'm done, okay? I don't need that anymore. I don't need the money. I've been approaching everything wrong. I just need a big client."

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