Page 129 of City of Sin (Men of Manhattan 1)

"So why don't you go talk to her?"

"We're done. There's nothing to talk about."

"If you're this messed up, I'm sure she is too."

"I doubt she is. I'm pretty sure she's just hung up on her ex. I was a filler. She's probably running back to him right now."

"If she is, it's only because you pushed her away."

I put my elbows on the table. I did push her away. I told her she was easy. I told her she was just like every other slut in this city. I was a prick. But she just had this way of making my blood boil.

"You must have seen the way she looked at you. She was already in love with you at the Silver Gala. You've just been too stubborn to see it."

"I can't talk my way out of it this time. She hates me."

"All I know is that it's lonely living in this city by yourself. Not having someone to share the good and the bad with."

"She ran when it got messy. She's not the type of girl that sticks through the bad times." Even as I said it I realized it was a lie. She wanted to stay and talk it out. Even after I stole her idea and landed an account that should have been hers. Because she cared about me. She loved me. And I pushed her away.

"I'm just saying."

"Mason!" Matt burst into the bar with a huge grin on his face. I had texted him earlier about landing the accounts. I wanted to celebrate and drown my sorrows. My brother was the perfect guy to do that with.

James slapped me on the back. "Telling the truth is better than any grand gesture. Talk to her."

"You're not staying to celebrate?"

"It's cold and late. All I want is to go home to the woman I love. I guess that makes me soft. But I've never been happier."

"Just because that works for you..."

"Stop standing still, Mason. You're going to want to have someone to share all this success with. Don't make the same mistakes that I did."

James always seemed calm and collected. But I saw the flash of pain across his eyes. It was gone in a second. I let go of the drink in my hand. He was right. Drowning this feeling with scotch wasn't going to help anything. I didn't want to lose myself the way he had lost himself. And I was sick of standing still. I was sick of the easy women who threw themselves at me. And the even easier ones that I had to pay for. I was lying when I said Bee was easy. She was complicated and perfect and real. She was the only thing in my life that felt real.

"Hey, James," Matt said as he passed by James going toward the door. Matt sat down beside me and clapped me on the back. "Congrats, man."

"Thanks."

"Another round on me?"

I looked back down at my empty glass. I could sit here all night, trying to erase the memory of her from my mind. But what was the point in that? I'd just wake up tomorrow still missing her. I didn't need a glass in my hand. I needed her hand in mine. She fit. She was the perfect fit. "No." I stood up and pulled on my jacket. "I have to go."

"What? I just got here."

"There's something I need to do."

"Mason?" Matt called after me, but I was already running out of the bar. I needed to talk to Bee. I needed her to know how I really felt.

***

I pressed on the call box outside of Kendra's apartment building. I had run all the way there, stopping only to grab a dozen roses at a stand on the corner a few blocks back. I was out of breath and my lungs burned from the cold air.

The doors buzzed. I grabbed the handle and ran inside, skipping the elevator and sprinted up the steps instead. When I got to 307 I pounded on the door with the side of my fist.

Kendra's face fell when she opened the door. "I thought you were Chinese food."

"Is Bee here?" I tilted my head to the side and saw all of Bee's boxes in the small living room area of the apartment. "I just need to talk to her for a second."

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