"No she doesn't. Give me a break."
"You haven't stopped looking at your phone since you've gotten here."
"Hey!" Matt said and clapped Rob on the back. "It's been forever, man." He sat down next to me and pulled off his jacket. "What did I miss?"
"We were just talking about how Mason is whipped," Rob said.
Matt laughed.
"You're just jealous that I'm getting laid every night," I said.
"I'm fucking rich and I live in a college town," Rob said. "Plus, have you seen me? I get laid all the time." He took a sip of his beer.
I laughed. "Living there was a brilliant idea. I can't even argue with your logic. Do you ever miss it, James?"
"No. I was a professor. I wasn't going out partying, screwing students."
"Just the one student?"
"Yup, just Penny. How many times are you guys going to ask me that?"
"I just don't get it," Matt said. "If you didn't care about keeping your job, you should have nailed as many girls as you could. College girls? Fuck. You really let the ball drop."
"You guys have seen Penny," Rob said. "I get it. I mean...damn."
James laughed. "Yeah, I got the best girl there. Rob can have all my leftovers. Penny is all I need."
Rob frowned. "They're not leftover if you never tapped them."
James shrugged. "I'm going to go get another drink. Anyone else want another beer?"
"No, I'm good," I said. "I can't stay that much longer anyway."
James laughed. "It's too late, Rob. He's already like me."
"Mason, I just got here," Matt said. "Come on, you have to be my wingman. There is a blonde at 9 o'clock that I have to nail."
"I told Bee I'd pick her up once she's done with work."
"Wow, you really are whipped." Matt made the sound of a whip cracking to emphasize his point.
"See!" Rob said. "And he keeps checking his phone. He's like a teenage girl in love."
"I'm just checking the score of the Knicks game," I said. But I wasn't. I wanted Bee to text me. I had been thinking about her all day.
"Every screen in this bar has the Knicks game on," Rob said. "Seriously, what is wrong with you?"
"He's in love," James said and sat down.
"I'm not in love. And what do you even know about it? You're divorced and dating a girl that's barely legal."
"Just because you're in denial doesn't mean you have to be a dick."
"Fine. You're in love. Great. I'm not."
&nbs
p; "Yeah you are," Matt said. "You haven't stopped talking about Bee ever since you met her. You're completely infatuated. Rob's right. You're acting like a high school girl with a crush."