Page 77 of Missing Pieces (Men of Manhattan 3)

"So that was her? Back at that house?"

I nodded. "She didn't even recognize me. Which is so hurtful because I can't ever forget her. I see her every time I look in the mirror. I have her eyes and her nose and I hate it so much. And I hate how much it hurts my dad that I look like her." God, my dad. I had failed.

"You're your own person, Hails. You're beautiful in spite of her."

I wiped away my tears and laughed. "I don't even know why I'm talking about that. It doesn't even matter. What's important is the fact that I haven't asked her for a damn thing in 15 years. And when I asked her for a loan, she just laughed at me and told me she was going to call the cops. She looked at me like I was trash that she had thrown out."

"How much money do you need? I can give you some money for the bar for a few months. I'm not going to be using it anyway."

"It's not even about the bar."

"Just tell me what you need. Let me help, Hails. I want to."

"You can't help. It's not that simple." I felt myself closing off again.

"Please, just let me in. Let me..."

"Why, so you can break my heart? So you can make me feel second best like my mom has my whole life? I don't even know why you came back. Why are you even here?"

"Because I care about you." He said it so earnestly that it made me start to cry again. "Please, Hails, let me help." He wiped away my tears with his thumb. "It seems pretty simple to me. I have some money saved up. I can give you a loan. I want to give you a loan."

"It's not just a small loan to pay the rent." I sniffed and wiped my eyes again. There was no reason not to tell him. It was a reality now. It was going to happen and I couldn't stop it. I had failed. "My dad's dying, Tyler." I hated saying it out loud. I hated that it was true. I hated that there was nothing I could do to save him.

Tyler lowered his eyebrows like it physically pained him to hear that.

"He has cancer. All that's left to try are these expensive experimental treatments." I tried to swallow down the lump in my throat. "But insurance won't pay for them. He took out a loan against the bar and the house already." I shook my head. "And now we have my college loans on top of everything else. I wouldn't have done all this unless we were truly out of options."

"How much do you need?"

"The cheapest treatment is $20,000."

He nodded his head. "Okay. Well, let's go to a bank. I can get..."

"No. I'm not taking your money, Tyler."

"You wouldn't be taking it. I want to give it to you."

"I can't." I stood up.

He immediately stood up next to me. "Let me help you."

"I don't need your help!" I didn't mean to snap at him. But I didn't need his pity. "I don't need anyone's help." I turned to look out at the ocean.

"It's okay to rely on other people. You're not alone, Hails."

I shook my head. "Aren't I, though? My mother despises me. My father is dying. In a few months I'll be alone. My whole life I was too scared to let anyone in. And when I finally did let my guard down and dated my asshole of an ex, he cheated on me. With my best friend. So yes, actually, I will be alone. I have no one but my dad. That's it, Tyler." And I wanted you. You told me no. And it hurts so damn much.

"You have me."

"I don't have you. You've made that clear." It felt like I couldn't breathe again. "God, none of that even matters. I didn't get into your car to fall in love with you." The laugh that escaped my lips sounded strangled. "I did it to save my dad. I did it to face my fears and talk to my mom. And I failed on both accounts. She still made me feel like trash. And I didn't get the money. I failed." My lip trembled as I said the words. "He's going to die. It's my fault that he's going to die. It's my fault."

He pulled my face into his chest and let me cry again.

"It's all my fault," I mumbled into his chest.

"Hails, I'm sorry that you're in pain. I'm sorry that your dad is sick. If there is anything I can do..." his voice trailed off. "But it's not your fault. Don't put that blame on yourself. Don't make the situation darker than it needs to be. You've done everything you could."

His words just made me cry harder. "Stop saying nice things to me."

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