Page 10 of Missing Pieces (Men of Manhattan 3)

"I know I'm good company and everything, but I am kind of in a rush. I thought that maybe when you get tired I could drive? That way we don't have to stop at all except for food and bathroom breaks."

"Yeah...not happening."

"Why?"

"Because I'm not letting a stranger drive my car."

"Then ask me a few questions so that I'm not a stranger anymore."

He laughed. "Look, you seem normal enough. But I was kind of doing my own thing and you hijacked that. I'm not changing what I'm doing just because you decided to come along."

"Fine." She kicked off her flip flops and pulled her legs up onto the seat, sitting cross-legged. "We'll do it your way then. Just don't stop at every tourist location on the way or anything."

"I wasn't planning on it." I could feel her eyes on me, but she wasn't saying anything.

"How long have you been driving?" she eventually said.

"A week."

"Okay. And where have you been so far?"

"Umm. Maryland, Pennsylvania, Ohio, and Indiana."

"It's taken you a week to drive through four states? It's going to take a month to get to California at this rate."

"I wasn't driving the whole time. I stopped at a motel in rural Pennsylvania for a few days."

"Why?"

"Because I didn't feel like doing anything." That was a lie. I had probably made one of the biggest decisions of my life earlier this week. When I was little, I always had a blast visiting my grandfather in Shippensburg. I hadn't been back since he had died when I was in college. So I drove aimlessly until I found the right church and then walked to his grave. It felt strange being back without him there. I just stared at his grave for hours. I had looked up to him. And it wasn't just because he was my grandfather. It was because he had made an actual difference, fighting for our country. He was proud of his time in the Marine Corps, and I was proud of him. The longer I had stood there, the more it seemed like I should be doing that too. Something I could be proud of. Something he would have been proud of me for. In my head it seemed like some monumental decision, but it wasn't. It was the only choice, really. What the hell else was I going to do? Go back to New York? No fucking way. I wanted to eventually look back and know that I had done something meaningful with my life. So I enlisted. I passed the physical and I requested to be as far away from the east coast as possible.

I was happy with my decision. The only thing that prevented me from being all in was the fact that my mom was so upset with me. I called her right after I signed the papers and she wouldn't stop crying. But I refused to feel guilty about enlisting. I needed to do this for me. It just sucked that an act that seemed selfless was maybe actually selfish on my part. If anything did happen to me, my mom would be alone. And I hated the thought of leaving her. I tried to focus on the road.

"Why didn't you feel like doing anything?"

This girl was starting to drive me crazy. "I think you mentioned that you wouldn't talk at all if I wanted that?"

She pressed her lips together. "Fine. I won't say another word." She hit the button for the radio and rap music blared loudly through the speakers. She didn't turn the volume down or ask to change the channel. Instead she just folded her arms across her chest and looked out the window.

The loud music made the car shake slightly. When I first left New York, I had been depressed. I had listened to old love ballads and sang at the top of my lungs like a little girl. But now? Now I was pissed. I was pissed for wasting so much time. Hailey was right. Nothing in life was certain. And I had thrown all my eggs into one basket like a fucking idiot. So I had turned to rap music because it seemed just as angry as me. But it didn't help soothe my soul. I was sick of being sad and I was sick of being angry. I just wasn't sure if I remembered how to feel normal anymore.

I sighed and turned down the volume. "I didn't mean that. I just don't want to talk about why I'm here. And I won't ask you. Deal?"

"Deal."

But we didn't start talking again. We drove in silence for hours until my eyelids started to grow heavy. When I saw an exit sign with a motel, I hit my turn signal.

"Are we stopping?" she asked.

I jumped a little when she spoke. I thought she was sound asleep. "Yeah."

She yawned and stretched her hands over her head. "You're sure you don't want me to just drive?"

"I'm sure."

We pulled into a gravelly parking lot and I put the car into park.

"Home sweet home," I said as I climbed out of the car. The night air was crisp, despite the fact that it was the middle of summer. I looked up at the stars. For some reason, they made me feel grounded. No matter how far I drove, the stars were always the same. They made me feel like one day I could be the same too. The way I was before Penny. Before she ever crawled under my skin. I opened up the back door and grabbed my two bags along with Hailey's duffel.

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