Page 45 of Missing Pieces (Men of Manhattan 3)

I grabbed the edge of the sink and closed my eyes. There was light music playing in the restroom and for some reason it made me even angrier. I needed the rap music that Tyler liked so much. I wanted it pumping through my veins. I wanted to throw things and curse and scream.

God, I felt like such an idiot. I shook my head and wiped my eyes. The reflection staring back at me in the mirror made me want to cry all over again. The extra mascara I had put on was smeared. I had been trying to look good for him. Now I just wanted to go home. I missed my dad. I had no idea what the hell I was doing anymore. I had almost died today. That gave me more clarity than I'd had in years. Life was too short. And my dad's days were numbered. I shouldn't be in a random restaurant in Texas. I should be with him.

I turned away from the mirror. We were only a two day drive away from Pasadena. I couldn't go back now. Not before I saw Elena. And I'd make it worth the trip. I'd get down on my hands and knees and beg her if I had to. My dad wasn't going to die. I'd get the money, go home, and everything would go back to the way it always was.

I swallowed hard. I just needed to get through two more days with Tyler. I could do that. With a deep breath, I plastered on a fake smile and walked out of the restroom. Just two days. I can do this.

Josh was laughing at something Tyler had just said. I couldn't help but think they were probably laughing at me. The poor girl from Indiana who was dumb enough to sleep with a stranger. Laughter at my expense. I kept the smile on my face.

"Hey, boys, I'm probably ready to call it a night. I'm hoping we can head out pretty early tomorrow."

"Already? It's only eleven," Josh said. He glanced at Tyler and then quickly added, "Yeah, actually, I'm pretty tired too. Let's head out."

***

The whole way home was awkward. Josh kept trying to make small talk which I wasn't in any mood to participate in. And Tyler kept looking at me with those big puppy dog eyes. Those beautiful blue puppy dog eyes.

I shook the thought away as I walked up the stairs. I knew he was right behind me, even though I was hoping he'd stay up later hanging out with Josh.

"Hails," Tyler said right before we reached our room. He grabbed my wrist to stop me in my tracks.

Finally, I turned to look at him.

"Hails, I'm sorry."

An exasperated laugh escaped from my lips. "Tyler, you don't have to say anything. We're on the same page. Whatever happened between us this afternoon was a onetime thing. It's not like there's a future between us. We're both going home after we get to California. Really, don't worry about it. I don't know why I overreacted. It's fine."

"I'm sorry about what I said."

"Which time?"

He shook his head. "It was just guy talk with Josh. Of course we're more than friends."

"Are we though? I don't even know you. And you certainly don't know me. So don't pretend that you do." I was trying to stay level headed but the alcohol was making it hard.

"Hails." He looked at me pleadingly.

I wished I had never asked him to call me that. He didn't earn the right to call me by my nickname. And it seemed like everyone who ever did call me by my nickname ended up betraying me in some way. Why hadn't I learned from any of my mistakes?

He took a step toward me.

"Seriously, Tyler..."

He grabbed the back of my neck and pulled my face toward his. God, I wanted to kiss him back. Every inch of my body was telling me to. But my mind wasn't. And I wasn't going to give into stupid impulses anymore. Especially when it came to Tyler Stevens. I pushed him off of me. "I believe Josh said you could sleep on the couch." I closed the bedroom door in his perfect face.

I leaned my back against the door and closed my eyes tight. What I said was true. We barely knew each other. So why the hell did this hurt so much?

***

I pretty much stared at the ceiling the entire night. I seriously needed to stop drinking around Tyler. It made me do the stupidest stuff. More than anything, I was embarrassed. What had I wanted him to say to his friend? That we were boyfriend and girlfriend? That probably would have been even worse than him saying we were friends. Especially since we hadn't talked at all about where we stood. I would have thought he was crazy. Instead, I had come out looking like the crazy one.

I slowly sat up. And had I thought the sex was amazing too? Hell yes. So what was I doing? The problem was that once I was angry, it was really hard for me to calm down. I wanted to talk to him about what having sex with me meant to him without seeming like a lunatic. He'd had sex with nine other people. He was still in love with some girl from New York. So where did that leave me?

His rebound. Second place. I crawled out of bed. It was better if we went back to being friends. That way neither one of us would get hurt. I just needed to play it cool and brush off last night like it was no big deal.

I nodded my head to myself as I got dressed, as if that could convince me that I could play it cool. I opened the door and quickly closed it loudly to ensure that I wouldn't overhear any disgusting conversations this morning. When I got to the bottom of the stairs, I was surprised to see the couch exactly as it had been last night. I made my way into the kitchen. Josh was standing there in sweatpants and no shirt. It spoke volumes of Tyler that I felt literally nothing. Josh was good looking and fit, but I was pretty preoccupied by my feelings for his friend. Also, the kitchen itself was rather distracting. Like the rest of Josh's house it was perfectly pristine. The stainless steel appliances actually shimmered, as if they had never been used.

"Good morning." I said.

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