Page 69 of Missing Pieces (Men of Manhattan 3)

"I can only give you tonight, Hails. That's all I have left."

Chapter 37

Hailey

Wednesday

I searched his face. That wasn't true. He had more than just tonight. He had his whole life. Three years wasn't that long. "I'll wait for you."

He tucked a loose strand of hair behind my ear. "I don't want you to."

I knew he was being kind, in his own way. But the words sounded harsh to my ears. Maybe if I was someone else he'd want me to wait. Maybe it was me. I unwound my legs from his waist and unclasped my hands from his neck.

"Hails." His face looked pained. "That came out wrong. I just...I couldn't live with myself if I made you wait."

"You wouldn't be making me wait. I'd be choosing to. And it's not like I wouldn't get to see you for three years. You get leave. We could talk on the phone."

"I can't, Hailey."

"Some girls are married to men who are enlisted. You're blowing this out of proportion. People do this all the time."

"Exactly, Hails. People that are married. They've known each other for a long time. We haven't."

"I know the way you make me feel."

He didn't say anything in response. Which in its own way was the only response I needed. I didn't make him feel the way he made me feel. Or else he'd want to see what we had. It felt like my world was crashing down around me. I swam over to the edge of the pool and hoisted myself out.

I grabbed my shoes and started walking back toward the hotel.

"Hails, wait."

But I was already closing the door behind me. I was so embarrassed. I ran over to the elevator and hit the button with my fist, trying to ignore the people staring at me and the puddle of water that I was leaving on the ornate marble flooring. All day had been fun and lighthearted and I had just ruined it. As soon as the elevator doors opened, I stepped inside.

That had been my last chance to change his mind. I looked down at the keycard in my hand. I had no idea why I was running to our hotel room. It wasn't like that was escaping from him. He was just going to follow me and I was just going to tell him everything was fine. But it wasn't. His constant rejection was slowly unraveling me. Or maybe I was already unraveled. The doors dinged open when the elevator reached my floor.

As soon as I was in my room, I let my back slide down the wall until my butt hit the floor. And I let myself cry. Really cry. For the first time since I had found out about my dad and the bar. For the first time since my life as I knew it was over. I cried because I was terrified. And not just terrified of losing my dad, but terrified of seeing Elena tomorrow. I was upset with myself for feeling weak. I was crying because I had fallen in love with a boy who loved someone else. The thought just made me cry harder. I loved him. How could I love him after only knowing him for several days? I shouldn't have felt like this. How had I let myself be this vulnerable?

I heard the door click open, but I didn't look up.

"Hailey?" His voice was gentle as he put his hand on my shoulder.

"Tyler, I get it, okay?" I wiped away my tears without looking at him. "You don't have to say anything."

"I don't think you do."

"No, I definitely do. I'm not worth waiting for. It's pretty simple, really." I pushed his hands off of me and stood up.

"That's not what I said."

"Okay, fine. I'm not as good as her, then."

"Who? Penny? Hails, this has nothing to do with Penny."

"Doesn't it?"

He put his hand under my chin and made me look at him. "It's me, okay? It's nothing you did."

"Just stop. You don't have to feed me some bullshit line, Tyler. If you felt the same way I feel, it wouldn't matter. You make me feel like I can breathe again. You make me laugh. You make me feel like everything is going to be okay. You make me feel safe." God, I'm pathetic.

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